Friday, August 31, 2007

My Journal

Memoirs from the Infinite

Infinite adj: : immeasurably or inconceivably great or extensive

For: Annie Hannah - The future is yours.

This work is a progressive piece, which grows and changes over time so some items from the start may change throughout the thought processes of the book. So please stick with it no matter how what your reading makes you feel, just take it all in one after another and see after yoUr done with the whole thing to critique the work. Do not expect good grammar, or spelling until I find someone who can edit my work without changing the meanings of the work. (This is~now revision 1.0 - 4 May 2006, the grammar, spelling and conteht' flow should slowly start becoming better.)

Disclaimer: Due to the nature of this work I wanted to make it very clear that this is not cult related in anyway. The information within this document if misused could be used for such things, however; this is not the intent. The purpose is only to spread knowledge to all of those who are interested. Cults take advantage of those who have a need in their lives and manipulate these people to fit the goals of the leader(s) of the group. These writings are but ideas intended to make the reader think and expand their experience of life and to hopefully bring something special into their lives in a positive way.

David D. Stanton made his first writings starting 11 Jul 2004. And has considered himself a solo and self-taught Kabbalist from the age of seven (born in 1974).

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The infinity symbol a graphic representation of the most enigmatic concepts.

We first must have a common set from where to start from on our journey of discovery.

• A deity, which is and is not, which is everything and is not. A pure paradoxical concept, which is everything, which humans can conceive, and everything in which they cannot. A name may be given to this deity however; this may lessen the meaning of it as a whole. The best way to think of this being is to think of everything and to think of nothing at the same time. Ain Sofit.

• The deity cannot be associated to human traits to do so would be to limit what it is as a whole

• Prayer to the deity or to aspects of it is expectable practice should one feel the need

• The purpose of life is to attain knowledge, wisdom and humility

• That good and evil are part of the whole and as humans we must balance the two holding the good in higher standing to avoid chaos.

• That all life is precious and must be respected

• All humans are equal and capable of greatness

• All humans have vices which they must over come or accept

• Tolerance and acceptance of others opinions and the ability to not be offended by people

• Life its self is a type of school which we live to learn and learn to live we must attain goals during our lives to allow one to ascend to the next phase of existence or reincarnation until all of our goals are attained

• Meditation and rituals are useful tools for gaining balance in ones life

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• To allow for harmony in society to strongly follow the old age guidance of the golden rule. Treat others how you yourself would wish to be treated above all, and to consider others within your actions and reactions

• The only true evil is ignorance and that the way forward is through knowledge that leads to wisdom tempered by humility

• Life is to be celebrated and death is to be honored and respected as a natural progression

• Throughout history people have come and gone who have changed humanity's progress through education and faiths, belief in these is fully expectable yet not necessary unless the individual feels the calling to these figures and belief systems

• Science and religion are not separate and are fully part of the whole of human existence

• No human is higher in rank than another we all learn from each other. To have one which belief in the person or his or her teachings for example Krishna is to have a single point of failure for the faith, it requires that one person to have something better than anyone else. We are all equal.

• There is no one which one cannot learn something from and share knowledge with

• Greed is humankinds deepest rooted vice, to be better than another, to have more than another. This in an idyllic situation would be gone allowing for all to have greatness shared.

Views

First it must be made clear that this is not a religion or anything that could be taken as a cult in any way, there is no head figure of focus which allows the individual to customize to their needs with out distractions from the whole. Traditions

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which have developed to allow one enlightenment even though the ones who came before did not to these, for example the Buddha did not have to prostrate before statues to reach the status of Buddha but through devotion and a strong personal belief in balancing of the self into the middle way was able to achieve Buddha status. This work returns to the basics and allows for personal and social growth not giving higher status to anyone as that there are no priests or prophets. No human head figure. As to show that no one is above another.

Christianity, Islam, and Judaism - All religions are accepted as a priceless source of knowledge of human nature and aspects of moral issues. Their prophecy and rules of faith as with all is a personal issue that everyone should consider on their own. Yet never allow yourself to force your beliefs upon others. Let knowledge, and wisdom guide you on your path to your religious calling.

Other belief systems - The teaches of any belief system should be great fully taken in and weighed by your own life and feelings about every aspect of the faith, should the faith be what your calling in life requires that faith should be explored fully but knowledge should always be a priority do not allow one faith to blind you to growing in knowledge even in other faiths which you may not necessarily feel to be right. We cannot force others to believe, they only wish to learn of other faiths and teach of their own not to change the faiths of others.

Everything is as it should' be. This is a constant. All emotions and the fact that hardship and losses occur along with gains and happiness as well are all part of what life is and therefore everything is as it should be at any given time. Everything, which occurs in ones life, is there to guide one on their path to knowledge, wisdom and humility.

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Documentation of life experiences and observations and personal reactions to those events is a useful and desired tool for passing of knowledge from generation to generation. Journals and diaries are highly recommended. Every experience is important not just ones of philosophical or religious content. The everyday life events and emotions of poetry and dreams are also to be cherished.

Mysticism:

The one may follow many different mystic beliefs as long as the laws of the golden rule, the three-fold rule in respect to karma is respected and no one or no living creature is harmed in their practices.

Views on Truth:

Factual truths are truths, which may be proven via scientific means.

Belief truths are truths, which an individual holds true, based solely on faith alone, and may differ from person to person depending on many personal variables.

Views on Respect:

Respect all, even those who disrespect you for there is much to learn from this.

The Goal is to gain and promote all knowledge, to understand fully the vices of mankind and to learn to over come them, and promote harmony in life and an over coming of greed to allow for natures balance to return to human existence. To promote science, invention, and exploration as means to gather knowledge with out limitations that greed and financial restraints cause. To gain the knowledge and wisdom to allow society to grow into a non-monetary society, which therefore promotes advances in mankind, based upon

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desire of knowledge instead of desire of wealth. To find a method to remove the status of have and have not and to allow mankind to eventually over come the natural call to desire what others have an to formulate a way in which with knowledge and understanding all goals can be attained with out the individual feeling better than or less than another individual. Also, limit greed of power through knowledge and understanding. To allow refinement of justice based upon logic, wisdom, and understanding. The goals of the philosophy is to form a refinement of the world, as we know it allowing for peace, growth, positive change, trust, honor, and understanding using and working within the current world society, and working to bring an end to hate, racism, and intolerance. Through knowledge, wisdom, and humility these ideals may come to be realized with dedication and persistence.

Human nature is that we tend to fear what we do not understand. Within that fear humans may destroy what is new and unusual then look over the peaces to find out what it was. Only through understanding through knowledge can we begin to over come this tendency towards fear and hate. In modern times this can even been seen as racism and even school bullying, only through proper complete education can this be removed.

Seven, the number seven is encountered in many places, from the seven colors of the rainbow, the seven charkas, the seven musical whole notes, the seven heavens, the seven continents of the world, the seven wonders of the ancient world, the seven seas, the seven deadly sins, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the seven seals of revelations, the seven cities of gold, seven days of the week, lucky number seven, and others. Oh, and this is the seventh page.

One must come to understand that on the topic of ideas and opinions no one is right, and we must agree to disagree

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and move on. To argue and try to "convert" another to your ideas and opinions is repression and cannot be tolerated. This is part of the urge to try to be better than another by seeing your opinions as better than another's opinions when in all fact they are equal and just simply opinions. Respect each other and learn from each other. Facts are things, which can be proven by scientific method. Therefore the idea that ones opinions are equal to another's opinions becomes fact when neither opinion has been scientifically proven.

On the subject of faith, faith its self is a hypothesis in which one holds to be fact when there may not be enough scientific data to prove or disprove the hypothesis. Faith is useful for a driving force for mankind to better itself if one does not attempt to force a faith upon someone who follows another faith. The philosophy holds that the deity is an issue of infinity and the idea that there are only two true states, existence and non-existence, the deity is the unity of the two states. Faith may not solely deal with religion but with self faith and faith in others as well.

Unity, we are all human, and part of the human tribe, we should not allow a history of ignorance, hatred, greed, and racism destroy the potential we have as a unity to progress to greatness.

The philosophy and Kabbalistic these two philosophies walk hand in hand, the major difference is that the philosophy through expanded diversity of sources of information is allowed to follow their own personal path should it lead to Buddhism, Confucianism, or any other path that the individual feels the calling to explore and enjoy.

The goal is to attain knowledge, wisdom, and humility and to spread knowledge, wisdom, and humility throughout society. This is done from within and being part of society actively. One can fit into any given social situation, which enables the instilling of knowledge and the assimilation of

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knowledge of those in that social group. When the term instilling of knowledge was mentioned as stated before this does not mean forcing of once views upon another, this only means to place useful knowledge into the social interaction to allow the group to grow.

One will not allow greed to guide how they promote the spread of knowledge.

The majority of life is spent working to earn money to survive and to increase ones standard of living just to die and leave nothing behind, any sign that you actually even existed in the first place. So many people read and watch TV and movies, but so few actually write. In order for one to hold a chance to leave a little of who they are and what they learnt during their life one must write and archive their life for future generations to learn from. If the new generations learn how to use the knowledge in which we have gained over our lives then this could enable them to not repeat our mistakes and to grow faster and stronger without repeating what has already been done over and over.

The imagination is the source of inspiration and creativity. Our hopes and dreams are a result of our imagination and by having these we have our goals and are able to begin formulation of a plan to attain those goals. Within the individuals imagination is a universe capable of everything and fully personal and unique from person to person. When one shares those thoughts from your imagination you inspire others to explore their own imagination spreading the creative power of the imagination from person to person.

Is there a way to over come the rut of waking to work to the majority of us going to unrewarding jobs then to come home to a home life that we may not be truly happy with, and dealing with the stresses of debt and bills. We are taught from day one that we are free but in all reality we are slaves

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to money and those who have it and if we choose to go against this we find ourselves in situations of poverty or having others wanting money which we have earned to pay for things which mayor may not directly effect our lives (taxes) and if we do not pay the taxes we are criminals, fined and imprisoned. Is there a more rational way to live a fruitful life?

These are questions we all face in our lives but are our future generations doomed to face these same questions? What other things in life are the same?

Through sharing our questions with one another we are able to gain possible solutions that others have discovered for those questions. Helping each other to piece together the puzzle of life.

Life is a fragile thing and no one knows when their time may be up. We must strive in the time in which we do have to learn and to teach to do what we can to make a difference in the world in which we live. Live a life of no regrets. Always remember that negative brings negative and positive brings positive the ideas of karma subtly affect every aspect of our lives. This can be so subtle but cause a butterfly effect to ripple through ones life.

Human intuition can be a guiding force for those who wish to listen to their own gut feelings concerning events in their lives. The results of following ones intuition may be unknown but could there be a reason for the intuition to occur that we have not yet discovered in our journey through life?

One must realize that with knowledge balance with society must be maintained. There is a fine line between genius and insanity, and one must fully understand the ramifications which ones ideas and. opinions may have on those in which they are shared with. To give ones thoughts to those who are not ready or understanding just leads to

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ridicule and doubt on their part and can cause personal upset if these are taken as personal insult. One must learn to evaluate the students to the level in which they are ready to be taught. Never forgetting that the teacher is also forever a student as well. Do not allow others ignorance to upset you or cause you sorrow for they are on their own life path as well and have many reasons deep inside for the actions in which they do.

On occasion putting thought into words may cause the thought to lose its exact meaning. Effort must be made to insure that the closest to the correct meanings are maintained.

Love, the emotion, which causes most people the most, conflict in their life it is one of the most powerful emotions one can ever experience. Love is paternal/maternal, fraternal/sororal (brotherly/sisterly) or romantic. To care for another unconditionally is an aspect of love. Many relationships are set upon a type of love with conditions due to insecurities within the persons involved. True love is unconditional and lasts a lifetime. Love and loyalty are joined because without the loyalty hurt and heartache comes. As said before treat others how you want and need to be treated in your life and all the things you do within your life.

Honesty, be honest first and foremost to your self, if one is honest with their self they are honest with others. This level of honesty brings high levels of integrity stand up for yourself and when you make mistakes say so, learn from your mistakes and move on. Become stronger from them and become a better person.

War, humans are naturally confrontational, territorial, and fearful, therefore; tend towards war. The only way to prevent war is not through force or laws but through true education with out propaganda being instilled. Learning of the cultures and traditions of one another and that when it

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comes down to it we are all human and we all wish to live a full and happy life.

In mathematics there is the binary number system which we use for computers to function, unlike the number system we use one through ten and so on there is only one and zero, yes and no, on and off. This is one of the most basic of concepts. What is it called when you have a situation half way between one and zero? Or what about a situation where one given state is both one and zero? So what is it yes, no, and maybe?

The body must be kept in good health through exercise, and healthy diet, along with mental balance through stress reduction techniques. Proper rest and care of your body and mind is essential for a full well balanced happy life. Eat well take care to have a healthy diet and exercise regularly to keep your body in good health.

The key to success is not in memorizing all details but knowing wh~re to find the details should they be called upon. Instilling enough knowledge to allow one to make educated choices in ones life is essential as well. No one is perfect but everyone should be striving for perfection in all that they do.

Do not become complacent and allow yourself to fall into a rut. Continue to learn and grow. Complacency causes a stagnancy to occur and growth and development to grind to a halt.

Silence and contemplation are essential for insuring clear thought and well formulated ideas which to share. The lack of this causes one to possibly show their self as incoherent or extremely confusing. Proper communication is essential for accurate knowledge to be passed or received. The format and structure of this document is written in a way to discourage those who truly are not interested.

Knowledge overcomes ignorance, however, there are those who do not accept knowledge, which may contradict

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their current ways of thinking. They consider it as almost an attack on whom they are as a person. The fear this causes is very difficult to overcome with out making people feel as if someone is trying to convert them to something that is new to them. Confronting the willfully ignorant is the most daunting challenge facing teachers.

Not all learning is pleasant, for example a child learning to fit into society, learning to share, to be kind, not to lie, and to be respectful the basic discipline one must have in order to successfully fit into their society. These can be very painful experiences for the children, teachers, and parents alike. As an adult other life lessons can be just as difficult. At times lessons just happen in which we have no control over, these can be disturbing but once examined in retrospect much can be learned. A good example of this is the events that go on within romantic relationships.

To read or to listen, either allows one to take in what is offered and to begin contemplation of the ideas presented. To deign you this contemplation is to miss the savoring of the fruit of knowledge.

Within ones own mind exists limitless ideas, the expression of these ideas leads to the first steps of creation. One must learn to prioritize these ideas and to evaluate the uses and possible ramifications of the distribution of the idea. Even the most well intended of ideas may lead to usage which may not be what the originator desired to occur from the idea.

Human rights, all of us are entitled to be treated with equality, and respect. We must not be allowed to let fear remove the rights in which all humans have. To do so makes us no different from the monsters of the past war atrocities. Individual personal rights for privacy must be respected. If these basic of human rights are not upheld then society itself becomes nothing more than the images, which was shown

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of repressive governments in the past. The modern world should not allow itself to fall into this ignorant stance.

Coincidence everyone thought out their life experiences what seems to bee coincidental events. If we pay attention we may notice that there are more of these than we at first realize. Coincidence is not events of pure chance but events with direct purpose for occurrence. These events occur to actively guide us upon path of learning during our lifetime to give us the best possible opportunity to learn those things, which we are required.

Suffering, life is not a prison, which suffering is a required for learning to occur. Life is somewhat of a school, suffering only occurs when one goes against learning the lesions, which are to be learned. If we learn to take a proactive approach to living then this suffering can be avoided and rewards be reaped.

Prayer, Meditation, rituals, chants, songs, these things can be useful and some may find necessary for allowing them to experience a spiritual level of learning which cannot be reached by scientific means. Within all of these the key would be to follow your heart and know not to harm others or wish or cast harm onto another. Search yourself to find what best suits your personal calling.

Why is the majority of the world obsessed with the material world, and have forgotten to search and research the spiritual? We obsess with everything to try to make our lives better to increase our standard of living, for what goal? What is the true point to that with out the balance of the spiritual to bring true meaning to "existence? What will it take for us to wake up and see that there is much more to life as a whole race than just the material?

Perspective, one must learn to look at every thing in life from multiple perspectives not literally and figuratively. We must learn to think how others would think in the same

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situations and take into consideration all of these views when determining our choices in life. This can enable us to make better decisions and to take in to consideration the thoughts and feelings of others as to weigh the consequences of our actions ..

The total of reality is the result of every action, thought, dream, and idea, of the sum of all individuals.

If one should feel a calling to something potentially life changing they should follow that call. To surrender yourself to your calling can be very difficult to face, but it can be the most rewarding if taken fully.

Human rights, all of us should have the right to food, clothing, shelter, and health care. Mixing several successful methods used through out the world with slight alterations could do this.

Our personal reality is the total of expectations and assumptions, which we have come to learn. The state of being real is as flexible as the idea of social norms and fully dependent upon the environment in which one is educated within.

To be trapped by obligations from following the path which is unfolding before you can be one of the greatest obstacles we come to face during ones lifetime.

As you learn do not allow your self to become down hearted towards mankind. We all have potential, some may or may not choose in their lives to reach towards that potential but it is our own personal choice. Our free will.

Set a time back each day to yourself to allow for contemplation and or meditation. Allow this time to center yourself, and renew the contact with your spiritual self. Use silence, or music, dark or light, candles or incense what ever you feel is the best for your needs. This time is for you to take a break from every day stresses of life and' to purge yourself from the negatives of every day life. Try to hold to

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this practice and let it become a daily habit as part of your daily hygiene regimen.

Beware possible charlatans when seeking knowledge and enlightenment. People may attempt to take advantage of those who are seeking solidly within their faith and use this to profit. One good example of this is the excessive cost one might find for the traditional red thread which one may wear to protect from "the evil eye" these beliefs are legitimate of course but no one should profit so greatly for red thread or any other such totem or ~imple idem. Greed causes a negative view to fall upon ideals, which are good and just, but because of ones greed to profit from such darkens the good intentions, which the ideals hold so strong.

Strive to balance the modern in your life with the natural environment, as the health of the environment degrades, as does the heath of all life on Earth. We are the most damaging life on earth and we must learn to limit the damage we make and correct the past damage, which we have made. Technological development and progress does not mean destroying the environment in which we live but learning to enhance the environment for all life to thrive.

The teaching of one religion to the ignorant with out teaching them of every religion and every possibility gives them only two choices to believe or not to believe if you are given all the options there is more of the probability that one will believe but the method of belief will be personal and a choice of free will not one imposed by society.

Learn of your parents lives and of the events that made them who they are, remember your life and understand that your life and the lives of your family and those close to you make you who you are and shows you the direction in which your life is leading and give you an understanding of your on personal life purpose.

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Find your own personal truth for life with in all the things you learn adapt this as you grow and live. Hold strong to those things, which ring true to you but remain open, minded to keep yourself from growing stagnant.

When the mind seems to grind to a halt when you most want to express yourself either in conversation or in writing give into this block by discussing or writing about the block its self.

Do not allow repetitiveness to lead to lethargy and neglect to your life path. When life becomes repetitive we must look into the events, which has caused this to occur and determine a plan to move forward.

World population must be kept in mind on an individual level. The natural resources of the planet can only sustain a limited amount of humans before our environment will collapse causing massive starvation followed by plagues until nature restores the balance on its own. We must end the trend of humans being the world's parasites.

Some times one must force their self to make difficult choices to better their position on their path through life. We must always keep our end goal in mind and assist others to reach their goals as well. Do not step upon others as you climb your ladder but help others to climb as well.

When ones life leads you to a point which all past events seem to have prepared you for in every way how does one move on from this event, if we have reached a climatic discovery within our lives how can we began to discover our next goal, and what are we to actually do with the knowledge we have gained?

Much guidance for life can be gleamed from within . works of fiction and give hope and a vision of possibilities for the future.

The world could do with a Democratic Chief Counsel composing initially of seven religious scholars, philosophers,

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sociologists, and scientists. This Chief Counsel is to be elected from Senior Members, which have shown dedication and a true desire to reach the overall goal of piece between religions, races, cultural, traditional, and national.

Chief Researchers, Members that research the issues and topics to be discussed amongst the Chief Counsel.

Member Responsibilities:

To bring full knowledge of religions, traditions, social issues, possible contradictions and history of all religions and philosophies into a common peaceful brainstorming grouping allowing for resolution of discord to occur.

The group shall accept responsibility for gathering the knowledge and wisdom from· the past and filter out set stigmas of past conflict and hate to attempt to attain a unified truth to share through all of humanity.

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At this point I stumbled across the works of James Redfield and reading these caused me to gain a better perspective of life that fully fits all of my past experiences.

An attempt to gather together people who are open minded, willing to give and receive new ideas in a flexible balanced way inspiring one another to be what we feel we should be as an individual and to share a loving of all things and together overcoming anger and hatred on all levels. Learn to except fear but not to let it blind us into anger and hatred. Also, share our life experiences of synchronicity in an open and honest manner.

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22 Sept 2004 (The above notes span the full time between the initial start date and today)

Some people say God has talked to them at one point or another in their life, I never could except this, Until seeing the truth of intuition the gut feelings, day dreams, dreams, we all

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have along with the everyday coincidences we all experience, these events those are if we pay attention is God "talking" to us. Most people just don't listen or know what's going on when these events happen in our lives.

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And so it begins. The day of the discovery of what we are and of the ever-elusive meaning of life for the masses is coming. In a time of much hatred and negativity toward one another a dawning of a new reality is beginning a few are beginning to notice this dawning and the masses will soon follow. As many have said our reality we live in is but a school, and in that all of the experiences of life is out teacher. We are at either ready to be tested to see if we graduate or maybe to be held back.

There is no failure only delay. When one wanders the maze of life there are only places where we get lost or stuck for a while but eventually we all find our final dead end.

-=-=-=-=-=- The bellow section I no longer follow, but will leave it in to try to maintain some sort of path to my development

over the years 2 August 2006 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It is now the 19th of December 2004 and I've learnt a lot about the perception of life and how one reaches or better yet returns to happiness when ever one needs its all an internal process which one can turn on and off as you need. Now with all of that and a clear path ahead the confidence now is easy to bring to lead me when ever my live needs to go to bring about the most fulfillment. The basics are now in place to prove the tools needed to reach my destiny how all it will take is practice and determination making all these things into almost a daily ritual. I plan on making time each day to make a point to enforce my daily practices and not let the mundane life take this away from me. I believe this is becoming more of a journal of thoughts

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and ideas, I don't plan on making it into a personal diary or a place to put personal notes other then on life, religion, and philosophy overall.

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Well here are some thoughts I have ran into about myself and this work.

I do have an issue with my inability to keep my mouth shut and find myself rambling about things people in general just are not interested in. So, In the event that some day some one might be interested I guess this is my attempt to stop babbling and put it in text for those who might be curious and to preserve a bit of myself as long as this document exists some day when I move on. I guess I just get excited and want to share my thoughts with someone to see if they work or what, but only a few people get it and I find that difficult to deal with at times but I wont become disheartened I know some day if this gets read by the right people it will help someone on their own life path as the books I have read over the years have and will continue to guide me on my path. One can only dream to have someone, whom you can share your visions with who will take them in with as must gusto as when you originally have them. I suppose this is why so many who feel the call to the esoteric find themselves becoming hermetic, personally I cannot be that, I must have someone to share my life discoveries with to make my life complete.

I have finally began work on forming my own personal language I think I'll call it Armitheian and it uses the Meroithic alphabet in cursive base written from right to left. My first created words are in English characters are: PuLa Teo Mow. This means Hand, Touch, Table. I know it's a very basic start but I believe over time I can make it usable if only for a sci-fi alien language. I wish to someday work on a numbering system which will be base eight and a collection of words

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which will be bound by a practical grammar system and try to avoid confusing linguistic properties. All words will be separated not by space but by a "." The numbering system will be angular in nature so that the angles could be counted to reach the value of the symbol. The written word for the number will be a selection of the alphabet alone and used only for vocalization the numbers if written will be in the angular format there will not be 7 and seven for example. More to come on this one, If I ever get around to it, I have a tendency to come up with an idea and never follow through with it or complete it once started, a fault that I have not found a way to overcome in myself. (As of August 2006 I have made no further progress. And probably will never, it was just a passing idea that no longer holds any meaning, why recreate the wheel.)

To have knowledge does not necessarily enable one to do the things in which they know. One must have the resources and finances to achieve the creations of their minds eye. Those who have those ideas and inventions but do not have the means for creation can only document the methods which may make their creation come to fruition when someone has the inclination and the resources to make the creation a reality. This personally isa big issue for myself having many ideas and no way to make them bare fruit for now. Knowledge, wisdom, humility and power are the only way this can be done properly with minimal chance of mistake.

I've found that money may have power but the small currents beneath the surface of the power players of the world make ripples in society which are longer lasting and can touch people on a deeper level than the superficial events brought on by the powers that be.

Faith, we all must hold faith in and hold true to our beliefs, however; we must not hold faith in things which humans have influenced. For example the bible is considered the epitome of

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Christianity. Consider this, the Bibles original writers may well have received the visions and stories directly from the source, but remember that the Bible has had many editors and translators over the millennia and can it be trusted that all of their edits and translations hold true to the original? This does not mean that God does not exist but only challenges us to evaluate the way we know of him and we interact with each other and God in contrast to these edits and be cautious not to follow items which mayor may not be true, and good. My best advice is to educate your self and follow your heart.

March 2005:

Ankenaten, Moses, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Sufi, Kabbalah, Masonic, Golden Dawn. All of these are beautiful parts of the grand tapestry of oneness.

Another thought:

Required Elements for a life as close to perfect as humanly possible:

Love

Humility

Wisdom

Knowledge

Power

All five must be firmly irliSlace to mainta1l1 order and a natural balance to avoid the natural occurring vices which all of us fight during our lives. Each element directly relates to every finger on the human hand in a logical way. The thumb is Love for it touches all the others making using them possible. The Index

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finger is Knowledge, then followed by Wisdom, Humility, and Power. One could meditate on this by the placement of thumb on an appropriate finger.

Gaining knowledge is the first step, through time and experiences one has the chance to gain wisdom and power, through the lessons life gives in humility one learns to remind humble and find ways to teach without being arrogant. Above all the thing that tempers all the others is love over seeing and guiding everything we do keeping us in line and on the path of light and love. Once these things are firmly part of one's life the only thing to do is follow your heart because with the five points feeding life it's self.

I hope in putting these thoughts into writing to enable others in the future to hopefully gleam something useful in their walk through life, something to make that click to enable them to move more smoothly upon their path of their life. Alii can ever hope for is not to know for sure but to hopefully have a pretty good idea.

Some souls may be able to find a fellow kindred spirit to make this journey with sharing in the balanced Love, Knowledge, Wisdom, Humility, and power. Others may find that no matter how they desire companionship, which they can share, and their mystical discoveries with that their journey is solo. With out companionship a solo practitioner may many times run into points in their path where they hit many brick walls which is where having a companion to work together would come in handy for both participants, however, there will always be those obstacles even with a partner that one or the other must over come alone.

The gifts of the lives we live are plentiful and diversified from extreme happiness to extreme heartache, each and every thing a lesson for knowledge, wisdom, humility, power or love.

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At times this could even be a mix between them in varied amounts. The point of it all is that we learn, learn everything, which is set before us on a silver tray of life.

The power of life its self gives unconditionally to us to enable us if we take advantage of every second to attain a life full of meaning, love, and purpose.

Many groups follow rituals, most people forget that rituals are a way to teach in a deep way things which in order to properly learn one must experience. Life its self is a ritual in many ways through living the ritual of life one gains immense knowledge and wisdom.

I have no idea what will become of this document, I plan however, to build a formal book possibly with parts of the notes within this included, one which in a story format shows the links between everything in a clear and understandable way, one which will for once and for all show that God is real by what ever name you call it, and that we are all part of it as well. One that shows that science is the framework, which God works and that Framework can be traced back to God as well. I will then within the book cover why we are here and what we are doing in the grand scheme of "reality". These will be placed in a way, which will hopefully lead the reader through a story which will guide them to these conclusions on their own to help in the understanding of the system. I do not intend to shock or offend, or to upset anyone with any long held traditions, but to bring new life and vigor to all good and loving ideals to bring a little light into the world and show hope that the faith that people hold so strongly too can and will be proven as true through science and logic with hard proof. We will finally know that faith in God has not been in vain that we are part of God and should not fear. We can live a happy and full life in the knowledge that we are a part of something more something that the human mind may have trouble fully understanding but

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one that we can at least know exists in fact, not just in faith any longer. A published "Fiction" work will most likely be the best transport for this knowledge. If anyone manages to better their lives from what I write then I have accomplished all that I wanted to do.

When one stumbles into a rut in their life they must travel through that rut with determination and purpose to allow the way out the out side to be found. Ruts shows people that they have reached a point in their life where something needs to change in one's life. The feeling of need of change can be strong or very weak. The change may be a large change or a minor. Either way when the change occurs one will feel great relief.

I don't know if I've already written this thought or not but anyway, it's a simple one that's extremely hard to change. Ignorance is the cause of all problems in the world. (Or is it? Could it be a shift from the natural balanced state of the natural world? As the Taoist's believe?) To provide knowledge that is taught in a wise way that instills wisdom in the teaching with a loving heart may be the only way to battle world Ignorance. Make Ignorance History. (Could Ignorance be truly bliss?)

Self protection from negativity and those of which may intentionally or unintentionally drain energy from you and one must learn to always have your guard up to make sure you are not harmed, however, I have always found it better to always have a surplus that you can share your energy with those in need with out harming your own supply. NEVER draw energy from others, or animals, best is to drawn from the earth its self from the holy source of all, infinitely loving, infinitely giving source of life. Ignorance may be bliss but ignorance can be easily taken advantage of for evil ends. Evil is corrupt knowledge, corrupt wisdom, abused power, arrogance, and the lack of love. Do not deign the fact that Evil is a true force and

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can be very dangerous, evil as with good exists on all levels of existence until the point where the two are rectified within the divine. The closer one becomes to the divine one must realize that they are also becoming closer to evil as well. For the walk is a fine line between genius and insanity. The closer one becomes to the divine the more evil fights against them. Know the evil but do not fall prey to the evil dogma, the light of Love will always show the truth through evils shadows and darkness. Symbols, talismans, and rituals may help some to defend their self, however, follow your heart, follow love and one will know they are safe and if love shows their path true then it is with or with out traditional magical devices.

I write this to show that one may not always have to follow the rituals, and techniques of the past to reach the levels of magical strength that history has deemed so. Magic is more fluid than to always rely upon the past. Yes there is always truths to the experiences of those who came before us, but we must filter all things we know with a sanity check using love as our pattern to check its validly in your magical life. Do remember that your discoveries may help others on their way but they too must filter all that the learn as well. Be taught but do not be blindly led.

There are many clusters of people who feel the call to the mystical. They may have deep historical authentic background but on the majority these groups tend to be a mix between factual and fiction. A good example of this is those who follow kind of fiction of the necronomocon, which was said to have been written by HP Lovecraft when in all actuality he allegedly made up the system to fill a need. There is absolutely no historical backing for those who follow this. These along with scientology and the Mormon. Scientology being created for a book called Dionetics by L Ron Hubbard a work of fiction.

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Mormonism, which rumor has it John Smith admitted on his deathbed that he made the whole story up and it got out of hand. (I would like to find out the validity of this.) There are many other groups typically lead by people or peoples who desire to be considered leaders or those with a god complex .. Do understand that this is just my feelings on groups which no matter how well intended may have deep moral inconsistency's. For example the balanced nature of Wicca makes it to me a legitimate faith for those who feel the call to it as long as with any religion a tolerance and balance exists within, the idea of Karma, or the Golden Rule. Alistair Crowley is one of the most to me dangerous of these archetypes as that because of his status he had access to huge amounts of mystic knowledge, he had the power of money and charisma, but with this he lacked wisdom and humility, and little love to try to make right the distortions and abuses of the systems in which he had access to. There are even pockets of people who have taken the extreme grasping at fictitious groups to provide their self with a since of belonging. Many of them are even taken from role-playing games such as Vampire the Gathering. The human need to belong can cause us to try to fit in where we can ignore the truth of the situation in exchange for the feeling of belonging and not being alone. A sanity check is required for all group affiliations not just adoption on loneliness. The typical response to those who fall prey to these cults of fiction is one of ridicule and isolation which just exacerbates the loneliness. One must never try to force your point of view on these if you wish to help, all you can do is talk to them and drop little lines and see if they take logic into account to balance the extremes of faith. Never force your view just talk to them, and teach by example not by damnation. One must remember it is everyone's right to be able to believe in anything they feel, be it God or the Sugar Plum Fairy.

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Sprit working - Mixed emotions on this one. Will come back to

't 't t'

wn e on I some Ime .... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

-----------------

----------------------------------

Symbolism a way to communicate thoughts which words are unsuitable.

1June200S

(This section I now see in review (20 March 2007) That this is a moot point and I leave it in now just to show how it worked into my developmental flow.)

The fault with Science in respect to Mysticism/Magic. Science following the standardized "Scientific Method" cannot possibly correctly analyze Magic, in that Science requires first formulating a problem, collecting data on the problem, observation of the events evolved in the problem through experimentation using a test subject which the target of the experiments and a control subject which is not experimented on to be able to compare. Then the formulation and testing of a hypotheses. The fault with the attempt to study anything ethereal is that there is no control subject in that when one works with magic all of reality is the subject; there is no control subject ever. So there can never be scientific proof.

Coincidence may be a topic which one may be able to interview enough people to come up with a proper study. To determine if Coincidence is just that or if there is something more to it, synchronicity. Need to read the works of C. G. Jung.

Is there a syndetic (linking) force between all things?

Personally I believe so just look up anything on quantum mechanics. Magic may not be as magical as the world thinks, it could be that we actually have control over the quantum world more than we first realized, and this control allows us through it to make changes in the regular world, small changes that build to something tangible.

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I know this may be my work which may make me seem incoherent but in my own defense I must say that this work is just thoughts which I have written in no particular order that I hope that someone someday may find of some educational value and allow them to progress upon their life path with more ease than those who came before.

Thought on the use of Hebrew in the Golden Dawn, one might notice that the GO uses modern Hebrew, my Idea is to see how the Ancient letters fit in replacement of the modern AlephBet. I plan to put this to my proctor in future communications.

Working though one's path solo can be very good at times, but there seems to be a limit that only a group or a partner can seem to over come. Having others to work with enables us to see others views and sanity check our own. If one can learn not to try to sanity check another's views only their own this can be very useful and simply not possible if one is solo in their studies.

The natural dualities of our current reality - All things are naturally paired. Black and White, Good and Evil, Male and Female, Life and Death. We live in a currant of binary symbolism. The statuses of have and have not. Positive and negative, truths and fallacies. Some are set in stone some are interchangeable. Left and Right, Up and Down these dualities give us a way to contrast and compare almost all things in our reality. One must realize that these exist and yet are apart of each other and consist of every possible shade of grey between each extreme. The infinite phases between the one and the zero extremes, the infinite shades between white and black, light and dark. The hardest part I find is the flux between happy and sad. Emotions and the flow between the two extreme's are to some very difficult to overcome and some people find it difficult to keep the emotions of life balanced and in control instead of using emotions as a tool for growth they let

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the emotions wreak havoc upon their lives. Emotions are human's way of dealing with consequences of life, love, and morality. One must learn to embrace each and every emotion but not to allow the emotions to rule their life but to take the rains and use the emotions to give guidance through their lives. Balance your life.

One day the flight of angles shall find port in the hearts of man, they will come with swords drawn, to strike the ignorant and evil. The light of knowledge shall bring balance unto the world of man. Heated Hearts of passion will bring love unconditional to all the world and the waters of creation will once again flow freely.

Fly on the wings of the angels,

Run through the hearts of those around you, Stroll across the thoughts of the wise,

Stand in the minds of the youth,

Sit on the mountain of dreams,

Sleep in the bed of life.

The future is fluid the totality of our group intent shall mold it. The chaos of reality is fluidic in nature and every action; every thought helps to form the future. The collective conscious of all things acts with purpose and intent to its goals of growth and development. We as a whole act as a part of that conscious a self aware portion of a greater whole. We have a unique place in this structure of reality. We have free will. We can either be a valuable part of the whole or be a cancer within the whole. We have a choice we can make to help or hinder. We may not know the why we should help but I believe that we are all drawn to help through our life even though we can choose on our own we see that choosing to help we find greater reward in our lives than to choose to hinder. I believe that love is the key to reality that the definition of love is to care beyond words to

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care so deeply it means the deepest levels of self-sacrifice would not be out of question to provide the care the love. This is love, to care beyond all things, to care so deeply that it encompasses who you are every breath every heart beat. Your whole life, nothing less, it can never leave you, it is what you are.

The acquisition of knowledge is a never ending journey, as that all knowledge could be replaced at a blink by the new. It is ever-changing ever growing, if one follows their heart letting it lead them to new and wonderful discoveries in life, every discovery is a reward in its self. Not only do we better our self from gaining knowledge but we cause a ripple effect propagating knowledge to all of those who are ready for the knowledge which we have discovered in our own lives. Some believe that if one is intelligent enough to understand knowledge then they have earned the right to know it. When things are lost and confusing in your life, keep a log of your dreams and from time to time go back and review them, see if they in retrospect mean something deeper to you, don't rely on dream books, follow your heart and your inner voice to its natural result.

The thoughts flow in to the mind and out the fingers, always flowing in, not always able to flow out through words vocal or written. The words flow. Ever flowing never stopping. Silence, silence, still quite, settle the mind and allow the voice of silence to be heard. Allow the calm to penetrate the soul. The noise of the world can drown the soul. Seek the calm; allow the calm to bring comfort and rejuvenation. Reach deep within for the sacred silence, and center your being within. And be still.

All of the knowledge of the universe could make an infinitely large book. Then again all the infinite knowledge in the infinite universe could be written in a sentence, a word or even just a letter. How about a simple symbol? 00 Think about it, follow it

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let it show you all the possibilities, all that is, all that is not, this symbol I find is the best to contemplate on, everyone may have a different one that suits them but there ya go. The contemplation of infinity can be all encompassing. The secret is to always balance life with the mental, always make your friends and family come before your desire to know the universe. You in your education can grow but cannot afford to leave those close to you behind. To do so can lead to breakdown and madness. As said so many times before, we are not an island unto our selves.

I have no idea how I'm going to give credit to where credit is due, I have no idea where I've picked up most of these things I write or will write, I don't claim that anything here is original, I just put it all into this from where ever I found it at random times in my life from random sources, written or spoken to me over the years. This is just a brain dump of all I can think of to write, if anything here is solely mine I don't know, if someone finds something here that is unique let me know if you can I'm just curious if I have came up with an original thought in all this mess. Not to mention trying to find some one willing to set and edit my horrific grammar.

What if a person is indoctrinated into a mind set so deeply through their life that when other ideas that do not fit their mind set are instantly rejected due to their heavy indoctrination they are closed minded to the possibility of change. I am not saying force change, I am just perplexed on why someone would not be willing to take a look at the data the evidence and compare and contrast the information against their current mind set and see what happens. Why are so many people afraid of doing this at least? If their beliefs are true and right in their hearts looking at new ideas will never change anything but only allow the person to have a understanding of how another may think. If their concepts are weak in their heart and lacking then they

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r

could easily give way to change, is this change the fear people feel when confronted with a new idea? It is like some one saying so strongly that they dislike a food in which they have never tried.

Well I've reached a point now that I don't know what to write, nothing is coming to me right now, so its time to take yet another break from adding to this document.

The thoughts in which I write are not to be weighed or judged based upon the writings of others or the traditions of cultures, it is to be weighed by each and every individual who stumbles into reading this, it is not to be compared to anything else, only taken as it is, a collection of thoughts. Neither right nor wrong. If they bring something to your life then it was worth it. If not then that too is worth it as that something will have been learnt in the process. I am not trying to actually form a religion or a cult of any kind. I am writing to stimulate thought and maybe bring inspiration to those who may some day read this. And if anyone tries to form a cult or religion from this, let it be understood that I do not and will not support such an activity, the world is fragmented too much as is and does' not need another fragment.

The answer to the meaning of life is a personal thing. It is fluid and very hard to grasp. Everyone who seeks this knowledge must attain it through research both of the world around them and within their self. I believe that as a society we must offer our help to all those who seek knowledge to better their self and better society. However, we must be careful not to let the greedy or power hungry gain access to powers which could cause harm to others or to society as a whole.

The need for one to belong is a powerful force, which in most case is taken to unnecessary extremes. People do and say all kind of things to try to belong to a group. Even if the group is

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not really anything along the lines of the true interests of the person-seeking acceptance. Self-esteem tends to be so fragile and in need to constant care to upkeep in many people to enable them to focus to reach their potential.

10 June 2005: At times in our lives we may find our self in a state of mind where everything clicks and just is right and makes perfect sense. A true moment of clarity. Is that the moments when God lets us feel that he is touching our life? I think so. A silly little grin, a feeling that everything is as it should be, and a deep unspeakable understanding fills you with awe struck silence. One thought that came to me during all of this is that there are infinite paths, all of which lead ultimately to the same place, some may take many turns and may take a very long time, others may take one through good times and bad, over all kind of time frames but the end goal is the same.

12 June 2005: At times I wonder if our world has been flooded with to many laws that contradict and confuse. Even on a religious level. To me the only one and true law is the Golden Rule as in Treat others how you would like to be treated. This law is the basis of all other laws. So therefore is the only true law. Laws on how'things must be done have their roots in this however over the passage of time may have lost all meaning. So is following old laws with out review of their practicality based on tradition a good thing? Shouldn't we review and correct our laws to be practical not just traditional?

Could thousands of years of people trying, failing and succeeding in enlightenment and reaching quintessence and documentation of such made the process convoluted and overly esoteric when in reality it could be as natural as breathing if we would just quit trying so hard and insisting on following traditions to reach said goals? Could not each of us have our own path to this state of life? So is it possible that one's way to enlightenment is not the same as another's? The

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Kabbalah is a great system which when stripped down to the basics is a simple map that is all. But through history the map has been flooded with descriptions of the places and paths on the map and complex methods for traveling through the map. Could it not be so simple that were making it harder that what it is unnecessarily? Could it be that we are sequencing the DNA of an egg to enable us to make an omelet? Traditions should be respected and remembered but they should not trap us or limit our growth and level of awareness.

I believe that we should do our best to help those in need; in this I do not mean to sacrifice anything or endanger your own wellbeing or the wellbeing of your family. But help when one can those in need. But to be ware of those who would take advantage of charity.

A system of global government consisting of a local counsel which covers a given small community area, all counsel members are democratically elected, and are party independent. 7 counsel members for each locality. Seven local counsels in a given area shall form a region and the constituents of the whole region shall elect from amongst the

. local counsels 7 regional counsel members. The seven continents shall elect 1 member each to form the world counsel. So 7 local counsel members, local elects one to represent for the regional counsel, which all constituents of the region elect a member to the continental counsel, which the constituents of the content elect a member to represent the continent on the world counsel. Local governs local, regional governs multiple locals continental governs multiple regional, world governs continental. No political parties, no lawyers or convicted criminals are eligible. All laws governing each area shall be kept extremely simple and not require any formal legal training to understand. All forms of corruption and or corrosion will not be tolerated and will result in a re-election to occur in all

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effected levels of government. All elections and votes on all laws will be made by all constituents who would be in the effected area. Food, Housing, Healthcare, and Education at a staple level should be socialized, in that all shall have provided staple foods, basic housing, and required healthcare. All higher levels of food, housing and healthcare will be available through insurance or self pay. Education will be required but allow students to follow personal interests with full support and direction provided to encourage people to become the best they can be at those things they feel the closest drawn to. (I'm feeling like I've wrote this before) ... The law yet again that all the actions of this/body must follow is the golden rule.

What is the purpose of fasting as a step of spiritual cleansing, why has fasting become a unquestioned part of ritual? Why do we have to we,aken ourselves to reach deeper states of meditation, isn't it all in our control and could it be that the fasting causes our minds to easier enter altered states? Could it not be possible to do the same while keeping your physical form in prime condition? Wouldn't exercising for extended periods before meditation have the same effect?

So many of the lessons of the past have been lost over time, by many different means, however, all the knowledge of the past if once discovered and lost, it can always be rediscovered. The mass puzzle of reality may be an immense task but the puzzle pieces may be shuffled and may seem lost but they are forever there in the shuffle of knowledge. We must learn to use our minds to filter through the noise to find the music of life. Along with the lost mysteries awaiting to be rediscovered there are still many mysteries yet to be reviled.

In all you do be determined and relentlessly seek your goal. Be persistent because persistence is the only way anything is ever accomplished. Do not be stubborn to change but be persistent in becoming the you that you know you can be. I feel we spend

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to much time judging the actions of others. I believe that those who bring harm to others should be punished. But I do not believe that we should -judge them on their actions if it does no harm to anyone or anything other then maybe their self in some situations. I believe that we must be careful not to place judgment on others or ourselves. Everyone should be equally given the chance to find happiness with out others inhibiting them from being happy as long as it brings no harm. This comes down to yet again the golden rule as I've said before.

In writing this I wish to make it clear that I am not claming myself as superior to anyone who may ever read this in any way, I only am sharing my thoughts and ideas about those things that interest me and that I feel a natural calling to devoid of my private life of course. Has prophecy truly become a thing of the insane? Or have we just stopped knowing where to look for modern day Prophets? We are in a age filled with so much information and misinformation that we know not what to follow and so many think they know what is right and wrong based on so many things that mayor may not be right or wrong in its self nothing in reality can be for sure all we have is faith, belief and hope that during our lives we can find our own personal truth and find happiness in our lives. We must be our own guides in finding our own fact from fiction each individual is responsible for their own beliefs no one else.

Once one states the information in which they want to pass on and the supporting data, one must be sure not to ramble as this causes the audience to lose interest.

There is an inherent problem with delving into the mysteries of life. This is that one can quickly and irreversibly find their selfseparate from and unable to fit correctly within society. This is simply because of the gap which develops between one who studies the mysteries of life and those who do not, we quickly come to a point where we can no longer relate with those who

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are not part of our group because they now seem like a past remnant to who we use to be. The only cure for this is to gently and lovingly over time continue to enlighten those who wish to reach for understanding and grow beyond their human coils. Read, research, discover the knowledge is out there, converse with those you can and in each and every person out there is a piece of the puzzle of the mysteries of life. This is a road which when one begins the journey there is no turning back and to pause too long or to stop all together is just as bad as never beginning. So I guess the key is Love, desire, passion, persistence, and dedication. One must reach deep within their self to find the beginnings of their adventure. All attempts to grow within this knowledge with any greed or ill intent will fall with out exception and will bring judgment in the way of the trespasser.

Thought is the Tzimtzum mentioned in the Bahir a way in which the ancients describe what we can now call the big bang? Is it the Quantum singularity the Devine light that is creation? Are we with science finally proving the wisdom of the ages? Are we rediscovering what was once known then forgotten in antiquity? I believe so, I believe strongly in a reincarnation system which one learns and grows not just as a person over the years but as a soul over the lives. I have found so many strange links of synchronicity, which has given me the strong feeling that I myself have been reincarnated many times and have faced many challenges. This is a topic I usually avoid because of the lack of proof, the only proof I have is in my own experiences there is nothing which can prove or disprove any of this, I guess we can call it faith. Life is begging us to grown, to learn, to strive to our infinite potential in love and grace and step away from the ignorance and dark deeds. We must come to understand that we are a contradiction we strive for love and life and live in lust and death, we are every positive and negative. Yet we also are capable of bringing balance to our

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extremes to walk the middle path. We must strive to keep both extremes in check, we must be strong yet have mercy; we must show every aspect of charity.

What is the point? Why bother with all of this? Why struggle to reach into mysteries instead of just accepting them as just that? These are questions in which we must all at one point or another in our journey face. I believe that our answers to these are fully a personal thing and that no one's views can fully fit any other person, however, these views may be helpful in building our own personal answers. My personal answer is simply because I care.

The ups and downs of life cause us to go from extremes in our lives. We can be so tremendously happy in one breath and in the next feel so depressed that we just want to sleep indefinitely. This is where we need each other in our lives at both extremes.

Our dreams hold little pieces to the puzzles of our lives, If we learn to decipher the meanings in our dreams we may be able to place a new look on the value of the dreams. We must remember in this that no dream dictionary can ever be 100% correct we must learn to understand the metaphor of our dreams in association with our private personal lives which no one, no author could ever begin to understand.

For the longest time during the writing of this I've wondered why am I bothering, part of me said that it had all been done before and it was all common knowledge. Well the more I've written and the more I continue to write I realize that the thoughts in which I write may be known to a few and be passing thoughts in many but to bring them all together to show how they all hook together in the great riddle of life. I believe that I am meant to be writing this to help us on our paths in one way or another. So I continue writing as thoughts

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enter my mind. When will this work be done? There is no way of knowing. I am now 31, as of July 2, 2005. This book has been almost a year in writing so far and many years in conception. All I can do is pray that it is found and used for others as I hope it will.

There are groups all over the world, which takes many principles and runs them to extremes with deep faith. There are yet others that take advantage and abuse the mystical world for financial gain above and beyond required sustenance. To take advantage of those who have little knowledge of powers which are supposedly being used to divine their futures and or give a reading of current events is wrong. For those who believe their self-worthy to divine fate for others for gain or fun they must understand that they are but a novice attempting to read and understand God's will. We may at times get glimpse into parts of these mysteries but no living human can ever claim to be able to know. For one to claim to know is a sign of ignorance and possibly arrogance. With all of this in mind I would consider being taken care of as a personal guru as long as I can maintain the life style I am use to as a computer systems engineer, as long as its understood that I am not responsible for any decisions anyone makes because of anything I have said. Sort of like a life coach I guess.

The idea of the formation of a utopia based upon a clustering of local, to regional, to national, to continental, finally to global start this process at the smallest point, with the children instill this belief at a young age and let it develop through them and their children human kind over generations to make changes for the good over time excepting and learning from our mistakes and not trying to cover them up.

Why are humans as a whole so lazy and reactive and not proactive, when we know something needs to be done we wait until we have no choice to do anything about it. In this we are

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quite pathetic and sad, we dream of being better than what we are, but we as a whole are so slow we wait and wait till we have no choice to change anything.

How sad.

One then the other, faster as the same, to get the one that the other became, one yet the same the other not again, pleasure and pain. Together one and the same. New thoughts through our eyes, society's web, no escape. When we open our eyes to reality we see we are no longer apart of the reality in which we use to know. The old is gone and yet still there. We are a new with wonder and fear. A new society of peace and love with no need for currency. We first must find a way to increase education levels following the motivation and interests of all. For to force feed anyone anything they are not interested in is a waist of time for all involved. Education is what is needed to start the changes, but with this education must also be a strong love and caring for all that one does and all others as well. There is no place for hate and ignorance. Anger and frustration is a natural thing but for those to develop ignorance into hate is unacceptable. The sheer silliness of every day mundane life and the many unnecessary stresses which society forces upon each and ever one of us are totally unacceptable, We have enslaved our self to our providers in an illusion of freedom which if we decide to truly be free then we will be without. We are enslaved to society.

One thought flows into another, the tapestry of life is infinite. The questions come to how can we better our lives within this tapestry of infinite possibilities. We as a race has potential beyond our current level of understanding. As a whole if all of us are well educated and focused on improvement for self and society with out falling into greed and power struggles we can

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accomplish the things dreams are made from. We need to break our chains of ignorance and as a whole bring the earth to a golden age of knowledge, wisdom, peace, love and progress.

The difficulty some may experience in various meditation techniques is the inability to let go to all things going on around you. External sounds and distractions can be detrimental to any meditation attempts. Letting go and allowing yourself to disassociate can be one of the hardest obstacles in meditation.

The first three numbers making up PI 3.14 are equivalent to the Hebrew letters of Gimmel, Alef, and Dalet. This may be pronounced gad. Does this mean something?

Emotions flow like the waters of the seas, they flood over us with irresistible force. All must be dealt with in their own unique way. All emotions must be felt and dealt with they are all there to protect and guide us. Emotions, which are not embraced and dealt with appropriately, can cause deep distortions and may set off other emotions in a chain reaction. Sadness can fill a heart and if not dealt with lead to more intense emotions. The same is true for all other emotions except for the two extremes Love and Hate, those two can only build in intensity or diminish. They do not become other emotions but other emotions lead to either love or hate. During our lives we are constantly swimming in this sea of emotions and being pulled and pulling from one emotion to another. What we do with the emotions, which we experience, will lead us to become a new self with each experience.

The stories of our imaginations few can put into writing. We all have stories of our own making just waiting to be heard. If we have held onto our childhood as a tree holds its roots. The imagination of our childhood feeds the imagination of the adult. Our souls crave to express its creative power our imagination

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is the doorway to that creative potential. How many of us still utilize the power of imagination as an adult? Now think of those who do and the things they accomplish if we are persistent enough to place every step in place to reach the goals of our

dreams.

I write from the heart I know I ramble, but I feel I must share these thoughts with all of those who may one day read, I feel this is the only way I may have a slight chance in making a difference in the development of our human race. I still do not know where this will end or how much longer I will write but for now as the words keep coming to mind I continue to write and think and rethink those ideas which come to mind. I hope that some people have the persistence to wade through my mess of thoughts and gain something from them. - 11 July 2005.

We reach within our self to try to find who we are, why we are in this life twisted in the events of our lives for some purpose. Does a single thread know the great tapestry in which it is a vital part? Are we a thread to a great tapestry of a reality in which we are unaware? I wonder if it is our imagination, which allows us from time to time to see glimpses of this grand tapestry. Can we handle what we see if we do glimpse into the tapestry of reality? Will it change us beyond recognition will we still be what we now consider our self to be or will we change into something new within ourselves? Once we do this we then will need to discover the new person in which we have become. We must also take into consideration how to express these changes to others, this is something which will most definitely be difficult because it can lead to negative judgments from those around you, it can lead others to attempt to judge your sanity balanced against society's method of judgment. We must realize that sanity must only be judged by risk to the health and safety to others or their self, not by ones thoughts concerning their own personal reality. Many people will not

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understand or except the views of those who have contemplated the tapestry of life some of those who do will not agree with or understand others. This is the nature of the tapestry of life, for each view of the tapestry is different for each thread depending on what along the thread the tapestry is viewed. Some may be similar others extremely foreign, none exactly identical. Personally I do not believe it is possible to contemplate the whole complete grand tapestry of reality with a mortal mind trapped in the mortal coil. To me this is the somewhat the same as what some say as seeing God. To fully contemplate and understand infinity, we must be strong as a race to be able to support one another and provide each other with the compassion and love we all need to grow as individuals and together as a race.

The journey of your life some may be able to journey alone and others will feel the strong call for companionship. We strive to find our place in the big picture and if we are to be accompanied on our journeys or have to venture alone. Our partners at time will challenge us to change in ways we may be unwilling to, we must judge each and every one of these events to see where a change may lead us. We must not just simply give in to another's desires because of fear, many people become distracted by the wishes of another just because they are afraid of being alone when all that they need is the support and love of the person they are with. We must learn to make every moment one of magic and love. We have to not let those we care for to feed off of us and drain us of who we are inside, vice-versa we cannot feed our self on others as well.

What does one do if one feels the call to change something in their life, to take the next step on their life quest when they have responsibilities of society to take care of and they feel

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they cannot just give up all of that to continue on their journey? Is there a way to balance the two? Is there a way to better balance on the fine line between sane and insane? Can we know the mysteries of existence and still remain the person they started as? Feelings pushing us and pulling us from one life event to the next. If you ever feel the need to know its bite is deep and never leaves, it is never quenched.

Our creative nature is one, which should be brought to a peak. We are creative creatures and with the arts, literature, and science we create. Many of us find a difficulty expressing this creative nature due to self-esteem issues. One can grow if one can express their life experience through any creative medium. It is our nature to create, we long to find ways to use our creativity I believe to bring a sense of immortality to our existence. Our greatness is measured on the ability to be remembered in history through time after our deaths. This is done through our creative works.

I wonder if some one reads this from beginning to end, how much actual difference in ones life, will the thoughts it contains make on their life? Will it better their life or made it a mess? I put this to those who read this. The knowledge this contains is neutral and it is your morality, which will determine how it is used in your life. I hold no responsibility for that only for providing my thoughts in text.

I hope people who read this take time to take it in, and read through the ideas several times if needed to help make sense of it all. I understand that to some its all been done before but now looking out into the world and seeing the deep mess we are in as a race and for our basic survival we may have glimpses into the things we need to change in our personal lives to do our part to make things better but when it comes down to it I am afraid that we may just be to lazy to do anything about it. Please if your reading this prove me wrong. Show that

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we can change, that we can make this a world that dreams are made of.

Dimensions 1-3 are length width and depth. The 4th Dimension is that of time, (The measurement of change.) What would the dimension of the realm which exists when we close our eyes, the inner space which we can explore internally. Why when we close our eyes do we not journey in the space that we find behind our eyelids? So the inner space has its own separate length, width, and depth. However the measurement of time remains the same.

Here's something to ponder, Clear your mind, then focus on what everyone else is thinking, doing, feeling. Feel all their emotions for your self, the happiness, the sadness, feel everything. Expand your awareness in a sphere, which slowly grows to cover all the Earth. Think about this in relation to your own life.

Feeling the changes in emotions, reaching deep within your self to hold on to an ounce of stability.

We strive our lives to live a happy full life. We share are hopes, dreams, and fears with others through our lives. We come into the world a rippling pond, we are effected by those ripples and make ripples of our own which spread out and effect others as well. We are effected by only certain ripples and allow them to magnify our own. A few of us are able to make a splash which can effect us all at least for a little while, even fewer of us make such ripples that effect all of us for ages after they are gone. Each generation the requirements to cause a splash changes and becomes more and more difficult because so much has already been done, already been said, statistically most things have already been said if not done so much so that there is more that has been forgotten than what we know today. How sad. We must come to a place in our

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evolution, which we can better, retain this knowledge, and pass it completely to our descendants. I fear that mankind is going to incur a new kind of Dark Age one in which will decimate the world in which we nOVJ know, unless we can increase global education and the motivation to learn in our youth.

One time there was a little child, we'll call her Derry. Derr had from a very young age asked why. She asked why to everything she saw, or heard. She wanted to know, she needed to know. She was so persistent in her questioning she would on occasion be told to go away and to shut up. The weeks and weeks passed as she continued to question the world around her. Her parents were at a point where Derr's questioning was in their view going to far. Her parents talked to Derr and told her that she couldn't go on questioning everything, that she must take some things at "face value". Derr thought about this and found it quite difficult to understand. She could not except that questioning something could be wrong. This tore deep into her and made her angry and quite bitter each time she was told that she shouldn't ask so many questions. She soon became quiet, and lost her zest to know and eventually life to Derr became dull and black the mysteries of the world drained from her mind. The world became pointless and hollow.

When we reach deep inside our self we see a being with so much potential, we know what good and evil we are capable. We can see how big of a splash we could possibly make if we could only learn to over come all of the obstacles in life that distract us and slow our progress. We must learn to persevere and to be persistent and stubborn about it. Negative influences can drag us under, it can weaken our constitution. We must counter each negative with always double the amount of positive, The story about turning ones cheek is not enough,

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I

turn the other cheek and offer them dinner. This is the way to make a difference.

We fight so hard for the things we believe in and hold faith for, but do we ever do a sanity check of the beliefs we hold against the rule of mercy, sympathy, and the golden rule? We are but human, we are easily brought to fault either by our own hands or by the actions and education provided by our environment. I believe that we should have faith but also that we should always question. Let me explain that better, we should have faith in the roots of our beliefs and the beliefs that have no possibility of corruption by our own hands. We should question anything which could be distorted by human influence. We must also reality check those things which we may think could never possibly be distorted. The key to knowing what to question or not is if the knowledge has been ever in a situation in which human influence could have been impressed upon said knowledge other than our internal thought processes. If it has been written it should be sanity checked. If it is pure thought not spoken, written, or expressed in any way then there is a chance that the knowledge is pure. At that point it must be checked against your own personal morality. Only other thing, which could distort is your own personal thoughts.

Why do we fight so hard for riches when all we need is to live comfortably? Why do we strive for things, which in the long run means absolutely nothing? If we can only live relatively short lives, why do we waist so much of it on such a pointless existence. We all should strive to be heroes, great inventors, and role models. So many things people care about are strictly educationally based. These things can change quickly with education. We must always remember, if one person cares about something, then that something is worth caring about. There again we must do a sanity check just to keep a semblance of balance and order. For example: If one cares

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about a collection of shoes. This is a care that may be very important to the person but in all reality this care may have no point at all to anyone but the shoe salesman and the person who has the shoe fetish. I believe these have their place but as with anything we must resist letting those things dominate our lives.

"In the beginning, it created God, the Heaven's and the Earth." This is the translation of the first line of Genesis, which some Kabbalists follow. This follows the Egyptian idea of creation perfectly. The "it" is the Tetragramination, the point in which is beyond human comprehension. God is the traditional God of Jewish, Christianity, and Islam. This is not meant to blaspheme in any way. As there is no other god above God. The only point that needs to be made is that God is what we can understand, The entirety of the Deity extends into a realm which our minds cannot journey. All things exist. It is only a matter of our minds coming to terms with this that is the difficult thing. We can learn through experience alone to look through this and make more and more of reality clearer for us. It is not through words or lessons in which one learns reality, it is through living and experiencing all that one can which allows us to truly see the majesty of the universe. It is those little moments of understanding that comes to us with out words which is that moment of silent comprehension that "Oh!". We must learn to pay attention.

Heard a good story about a teacher and three students. The students were studying different opinions on belief. The first student came to the teacher and told the teacher how strongly he believed that the ideas he found were correct. The teacher said that the student was correct. Later another of the three students came to the teacher and said how his studies in belief had been the best; the teacher agreed that he was right. Finally the last student came to the teacher upset and said how

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can both of the others be correct, that it would be impossible. The teacher told him that he was correct.

I have taken on the challenge of writing a article for Freemasonry today about the relationship between Freemasonry and the Golden Dawn. I'll put my article in this once its completed. (This has fallen by the wayside but I still wanted to leave this in just to show that there is a potential for an expansion here should the need come.)

Why do we always go to extremes? Is it not our job to bring balance to the world in which we live? Is that not the purpose of life? Is the meaning of this revealed in the act of bringing balance to the world?

Every moment is a brand new creation; all of reality is like the frames of a film. The cure for all the worlds faults is to bring it to a balance, how do we do this? Global Education on a epic scale. Educate all people to the level to allow them to self sustain and enough to provide them with the education to go further should they feel the calling to do so. Spread love and fight ignorance. The ideals of human rights need evaluated, it is simple all humans have the right to live a happy life. To insure this education must be provided to enable this to happen and to stop either the educated or the ignorant from taking advantage of each other. If one just watches or reads the news, and sees the events which occur on a daily basis one quickly sees many ignorant poorly educated people running the world and messing it up with ignorance and greed. The educated must over come the ignorant. The only way to do this is to educate the ignorant. With this it is imperative that the education is not bias or one sided we must teach a wellbalanced curriculum. The power hungry could take advantage of this if it is not carefully monitored.

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The Noahide Laws are six laws given to Adam by God, the seventh law was given to Noah after the great flood. This in itself replaces my previous statements on a unified belief system. But now I wonder and some what feel the need to be Jewish and follow the traditions properly. However, there is a strong questioning of many of their laws, they say the laws are divine yet some of them just feel wrong. But the overall idea feels right. I am somewhat afraid that this is the correct belief system but that over the years human's have introduced levels of corruption to their legal system. Not to mention I have had little or no response from any Rabbi's on my quest for information on conversion. They do not seem to be interested so far, or my level of inters has not convinced them that I am serious about my inquiry. So right now I am considering myself a Noahide Kabbalist. (Well then I did, now I'm something different. 27May2006)

I am continuing on converting it looks as though the Reform movement is what may fit me the best as that the Orthodox has many dogmatic ideas which I cannot accept as valid within today's world or within what I would except as passing on my judgment of right and wrong. (These views have changed drastacly now and I see that because of my social situation and family life It would make it virtually impossible to ever convert and officially be Jewish, so I have found where this is known to happen with many Jewish souls where their destiny is set to play out, out side of the traditional Jewish society. As I can I do try to work bits of tradition into my life without disrupting the natural order of my situation. August 2006) I do hold all other branches in very high regard and with high respect; I just have views to where I fit in it all. We must learn from our past and strive to perfection in all things even the perfection of our legal systems and our laws.

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So creation did not happen along time ago, it happens every moment. We are on assignment in this world to collect the sparks of the divine, who resides in all things and raise them. All thoughts, words and so on have a strong effect on the world around us. Everything we do, say, and so on drastically effects all of reality in either a positive or negative way.

6 September 2005, I have always felt some what alone in my studies, the other night I had a chat with my father about it all, and I realized how my father was at a young age came to study the same as I, but because of the thin line and the difficulty of balance he chose to stop his own studies against his own feelings. I some how took up the same studies and have in his words greatly passed him in my studies. I don't know how to take this, I always looked to my father as the person I would go to for guidance, now has the student surpassed his teacher? Part yes part no, he has one thing that I cannot surpass and that is experience. I have studies and research under my belt and that will always continue to grow, but only with time will I gain the experience one can only gain by living the life of one who studies the mysteries of life can the experience come.

Just some thoughts on some religious issues. For example sin and forgiveness, is there not something wrong with the idea of free will then place the idea of sin upon the free will? Yes there is right and wrong the idea of the golden rule, but sin is another issue which at times seem to be dealt with in ways totally over the top for the issue being dealt with. Why in exodus did G-d stiffen Pharaoh's heart to make him not let the slaves go free? Why did he trap the Pharaoh into self-destruction? Why does the Lord in the Torah found to kill so quickly those who mess up? What kind of father figure is this? Question is why would one follow one who you fear? Why? It is more to follow one you love, one who you respect. These lessons may have been

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required for their time but now at this age seems so barbaric. Humanity has grown and so has the potential for understanding the Lord. The idea of death to those who do not follow is unacceptable. One must attract through love, caring, respect, and understanding, we humans are but children, we must learn to be Humane and to take care to pay due respect but must also show strong tolerance for those who are not of your thinking. We must hold strong to tradition but we must not allow extremism to take hold. We must balance. The tree of life is the example of balance and should be followed. We must balance in order to help to bring Tikkun Olam.

We must always ask why. We must always question with respect. We must always challenge the standard by asking if there is another way and every why and reason. We can never stop doing this, to do so is to grow to stagnation, and reality is infinite so we must do our part within that infinite to the best of our abilities.

The Bible says to fear G-d I do not believe the use of this word is correct, I believe it should be respect, not fear. No one would follow a god who intimidated them into following. The idea of knowing and being close to G-d is something that has to be taken very seriously. What is G-d? is it a being of some kind? G-d is something much deeper than that G-d is Infinity The infinite of everything and nothing, the infinite of the antieverything and the antinothing and the paradoxes as well. For G-d is none of those things in which I have mentioned either infinitely, yet G-d is and is not all things and is not. The truth of infinity is a truth of paradox, which is the ultimate truth and in that truth is not as well. For each side has its opposite and is united which causes a single side and thus an opposite and so on and so on, yet G-d is the infinite of that to the point and beyond human understanding. To fully know G-d is to fully know the infinite, it would be comparable to knowing PI but that

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would not do either. For G-d is beyond that idea as well. Arriving at this perception allows for a calming overwhelming peace to occur in every aspect of our life the infinite resides. The infinite is all that we know and do not; every part of our existence is a portion of that infinite. Guide your life with love first morality second and bring the thought of the infinite into all that you do through your life and joy will prevail for when one can do these things one will see that everything is as it is suppose to be and all is in order, all things, no matter the pain that life can give the infinite is there. Sadness and depression are part of life and part of what makes us who we are, we too are part of the infinite, Everything has a purpose weather we can come to an understanding of that purpose or not it does exist in the grand picture of things. Many will not be able to see this due to their pains of the past and the scars that life can leave deep within. This does not take away the truth as the sunlight brings life it also brings, death. We must see that there is more to this then just the events which hurt but what those feelings did to make us change and how that change in ourselves changed the way we live/ed our lives and how we due to those events influenced others and changed their lives. Everything that has ever happened to us and ever will happen in our lives happens to make us what we need to be to lead us and guide us through our life we cannot begin to understand all the ins and outs but we can come to the peace of mind that it is as it should be. There is the problem in thinking this that some may think why bother then? The point being is that even if we feel these feelings of pointlessness it too is for a purpose and we will learn from these feelings and become more than what we were before.

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So what is the point then? Why? What is it all about? Simple, it is all about the experience, all about enjoying life and enjoying helping others to come to enjoy their lives the best they can as well. Enjoy life, every breath of life, every sight, every emotion, every aspect of your life enjoy it is a wonderful gift and to teach others to enjoy life.

In Light, Love, and the Infinite,

David 0 Stanton 15 October 2005

Phase two, Understanding the Infinite. 4 December 2005

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There are those that would say that to understand the infinite is impossible for the human mind. However, in the nature of infinity this is true and false in one. We can come to an understanding of the infinite and learn how it plays in our daily life. We can learn to accept its paradoxes as

natural and normal. Now in so doing we must also except that yes we may learn to understand but we will not even though we do. It is the paradox most difficult to come to except within this line of study. Mathematicians have for centuries tried to come to an understanding and proofs of their works using infinite principles. Now in this modern age we can understand the union between the mathematical infinity and the philosophical infinity. They are the same, not separate but one thing a concept of endlessness in all possible ways. In coming to an acceptance of this we can come to a level of peace in our lives knowing that everything is part of the infinite in the most intimate way. We are part of its purpose and function we and every aspect of our existence is a celebration of the majesty of the infinite. We must learn to balance faith with science and science with faith. We must accept those things, which we are yet to know and question those which we do know. In exploring the infinite we will encounter many more moments of challenge in our lives, which will cause depression and anxiety. We must understand that this is normal and presents signs that we are beginning to understand, the depression comes at times when you have destroyed your previous reality and the unknown causes a fear reaction followed by depression as we continue to explore our new understanding this depression fades naturally if we except our new point of view of our reality in which we live. We must learn to balance and bring a calm peace to our lives, even if we choose to explore we must keep level headed and keep the thoughts of others around us in mind, as many may not

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be able or ready to except these views and the reactions may be negative and damaging, so we must take care in communicating these ideas with anyone which ·is not ready to except the infinite. The concept of infinity is the proof of the infinite. The conception of the infinite by the human mind is its creation into our reality into our acceptance of its allencompassing nature. Before this point the infinite is still there yet only seems to come into existence once we begin to understand. This is the nature of all things. The history of infinity is riddled with battles between within the aspects of both mathematics and philosophy. History seems to make infinity seem to complex and thus unknowable. The nature of infinity is very simple. It is and it is not, and it is both, and is not, it is everything contained and uncontained, and it is nothing contained and uncontained. And it is all of these things and infinitely more and none of these things as well. All definitions of infinity is and is not, and neither and or both. All is a paradox except for infinity it's self. Of course this can be argued but it cannot be disproved as long as the fact that infinity is truly infinite. The disproving of infinity is not possible as that no matter the situation one can always be added or removed. The question comes down to simply:

What's the point? The point is that infinity declares that everything is possible. We are only constrained by the reality in which we live and the decisions we make and the decisions of others. The hopes of passing this understanding is to bring a new spark into our reality one which will cause us to grow to bigger and better things as a race. Once we realize as a whole that all is one and no longer impose division, even the evil aspect will fade from the world. (11 December 2005) The mathematicians through out history have struggled to prove or disprove infinity, even breaking it into separate infinities. They seem to have over looked the simplicity of the infinite. The understanding is explainable in

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these points which I have now tried to place in several different formats in order to help the understanding to occur.

1. Infinity is.

2. Infinity is not.

3. Infinity is everything.

4. Infinity is nothing.

5. Infinity is everything humans can conceive.

6. Infinity is everything humans cannot conceive.

7. Infinity is and is not all possible.

A warning must be given when exploring the majesty of the infinite one must keep their self well rooted in the world in which they live. The madness of the mathematicians which they brought upon their self for not coming to this basic understanding of the nature of the work in which they undertook. The attempts to find proof to the Continuum Hypothesis proposed by Gregory Cantor was a major example of this. Which needs never happen again. Once we come to our own personal understanding of the infinite and our place within it we then come to a question we all must face. Now What? This is a difficult question to answer at best of times. However, with the understanding of the infinite under our belts we can learn to see the guidance in which the infinite provides us during our lives in the subtle signs to what we should be doing with our lives. Learn to listen and act on these and their will always be an answer to our times in our lives when we reach the Now What question.

Seeing the Signs.

From time to time in our lives we all notice the events which led us to where we currently are in our lives. We can learn to better use these events by proactively looking for them in our lives, to better pay attention to those signs which happen every moment of every day, we can used those signs to guide us from day to day. The more we notice those signs hidden in coincidences the more those coincidences will

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occur in our lives to more finely tune our paths. They become as common as related topics, which those around you may talk about. The events, which show on TV, the newspapers and so on are all possible sources of these signs. They will ever be anything to anyone else, but you will know that these signs are for you because they are related to things, which you are currently involved in thought or action. We must learn how to spot these private signs and use them in our lives discretely explaining to those who don't understand could get tricky. So there is no need to explain or even discuss these personal messages. The proof is in the living not in the explanation. The more we use our intuition to filter these signs the more accurate they will be. We must learn to use our intuition to its fullest and allow these things to enhance our lives.

It must be made clear that this intuition and signs are not divination and not a means for questioning, they are just signposts.

Passing the torch.

It is all of our responsibility to strive our best to teach the youth of the world of our discoveries, adventures, and mistakes (and what we have learnt from them) through our lives. We must do all we can to increase the overall knowledge base of the world and make common sense more then just a saying and make it common, correct, and useful. We must remove all bias and show the world, as it is a balance between light and dark, and how to define the two and choose. The world's wealth is not a measure of the material in which we have during our lives but the legacy of loving knowledge in which we pass from generation to generation. We must challenge the youth to find answers to all of lives questions and to challenge those answers as well. We must teach our youth to experience all aspects of life to the fullest, we must strive them to learn what is right and to

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live by that not just to tell them right from wrong but let them live it. The magic of life is in the living. We must never become complacent and always strive for those things, which our personal intuition guides to us. We must learn to not judge others or in any way we must learn from them and if they wish allow them to learn from us. But always allow for them to determine what to take on and possibly fit into their own lives. Free Will is a must. There is no my way or your doomed. We all must find our own individual paths with the knowledge, which we find during our lives.

We see things in the world, which we have strong convictions about, things that we wish we could change for the better. We may feel powerless to do anything about it however; one person with one small action has an effect because when many act in kind the effect is exponential. We can change the world one action at a time, one dream at a time. The closer we get to the heart of the matter the more we see that needs to be fixed and we may feel overwhelmed but hold strong to your convictions and do what one can as you can but watch not to cause detriment to yourself or others in this pursuit. Be steadfast and strong in every thing you do. Be prepared for the comments of others positive and negative know yourself so well that these cause no sway in your resolve.

The questioning of those things, which we have held true, and as a deep part of our lives is a very difficult thing to do. We put at risk the foundations of our world in which we live. But to begin to learn we must question. We must ask the questions which are the hardest to ask. Could a religion be true when it says if you believe you will be saved and go to heaven? Why would they care if you believed or not? Why are those who do not believe and are yet just and good people why are they doomed? We must question the

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foundations of belief that were formed on anything forced by anyone in its history upon anyone who was not of their belief structure.

What is G-d? If you have been reading my ramblings maybe just maybe you will have come to an understanding that would enable you to come to your answer to the questions you pose. The difficult part is coming to except the fact as that it is just that in all its definitions a fact, not an opinion, not a belief, infinity is a fact where all other aspects of reality is only opinion, and all leaves room for conjecture we know infinity is a fact as that what ever it is something can always be added to it. This is infinity. The whole. The oneness. The perfection. When one comes to this understanding all perceptions within their life will change in relation to the understanding of its place within the infinite. We see the mechanics of reality and the struggle of the individual to find their place within their known reality. Some actively seeking to expand their understanding of the reality that lives in others happy with the lives in which they are living. We must learn that this is natural and it is not our place to impose our will upon others. We are but observers and when others reach directly to us for guidance then we may guide but we must never try to force understanding on those who are not ready or willing to seek the light on their own. We are all tools of the infinite all equal but all different none better than another we are just different not worse or better. We must in our education hold strong to our humility. We must not allow knowledge and understanding to bring arrogance. Life is a journey within the infinite in a finite perspective of a finite portion of the majesty of the infinite. Every moment we experience has an infinity within. Just think of those times when we drift off and feel ages have passed and yet when we awake only moments has passed.

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There is infinity in every second and infinity of infinities within that.

4 January 2006, we now come to the point at which we try to understand the idea that paradoxes may be a normal effect of infinity however; this does not mean that every situation holds a paradox. We run into the occurrence of parallel realities. All of reality paradoxes included is part of an infinitely dividing tree form one that is caused by variables. Each variable in reality causes a branching to occur in the total reality. Every decision we are faced with every choice we make every thought all things cause a branch to form in the grand tapestry of the complete infinity. Because of the nature of this there are also times when separate branches unite and mayor may not separate again. Some branches may come to an abrupt end at a branching point. It is highly probable that our imagination is simply a way of viewing these other branches Of reality, that nothing is truly imaginary at all just that they exist within other branches of reality separate from our current consciousness. The problem with the development of this way of thinking can cause exclusion within a given society it

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could even cause others whom one lives to consider them mad or unable to fit into society. This is is a difficult situation as that there is two possibilities that one the person is mad, or that the person is truly at separate and different way of experiencing reality from a different point of view which is fully correct from their given point of view and is not incorrect or wrong any anyway it is just a different way of understanding and living within reality. If we choose a path of extending our understanding of the reality in which we live we must find a way to minimize the possible social repercussions of developing a expanded understanding of reality in which the general populous does not currently hold. We must learn how to keep within the society in which we live even though our thoughts may be elsewhere we must continue to dance the traditional dance of the society in which we live. From time to time we may be able to release ideas into the populous, which can cause a growth in the society. This is done very slowly over many years as to not cause a social upheaval or a complete denial of the ideas proposed. The development of an expanded understanding of the infinite reality in which we exist allows us to challenge those things within our reality which challenges our ideas of right and wrong, it allows us to grow and develop our own personal reality to bring about a deeper fuller happier life. Recently some one said to me that when sorting useful knowledge from misguided knowledge as wheat from chaff. I was reminded that the chaff has a use as well. This may be true in some cases, but one must run a personal check on the chaff to see between knowledge and misinformation. This separation is a personal thing that I believe everyone must judge on their own and only hold their self-responsible for the result. The key is of course to be cautious in all your adventures and to use discretion as to not be led into dead

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ends in your studies. Judge all your knowledge on the one constant infinity itself.

7 January 2006:

The world presses so hard on issues, which cause war and deaths all based upon lack of knowledge. We are constantly at war with the ideals of another group. If the world can

come to understand that morality must be upheld and we must treat one another as we wish to be treated with the understanding that due to the infinite we are no more right or wrong than anyone else, for the only truth is the infinite. We allow so many to die based on ignorance of belief systems which damn all those who do not follow those belief systems. No belief system should be considered valid if it has questionable moral teachings for example believing that one is better than another due to belief system or that one figure head is the end all and be all of the belief system as that no one can know the infinite so there for all things in which we do is not the full truth if true at all. We must realize that all things in which we hold true are true and are false and neither of those. The nature of infinity would make this so. The only truth to repeat yet again is the infinite alone. God is one God is infinite there is no other God but the infinite God. We cannot afford to allow ourselves to become unbalanced and go to extremes. Knowledge of all kinds must be taken in by each and everyone of us to enable us to form our own truths based on Knowledge, wisdom, humility, desire/power, and love. Following a system just because your tradition dictates it does not necessarily make it right. We must reject those things, which we find to be in contradiction to the morality, which we have come to live by. We are so quick to judge those who do not follow our beliefs yet are morally strong with out taking that into consideration we should focus on a universal definition of morality which can cover all the world with out putting religion into the issue. Then after

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finding a moral template this cannot be allowed to be mutated by religious issues. My own personal morality is as stated before to treat others as I wish to be treated. That simple.

16 February 2006, To know your self to understand that you and everything else is a part of the infinite and have a purpose that we mayor may not come to understand during our life time. We must also understand the nature of infinity and that it does not matter if we can accept the infinite or

not, it makes no difference if you believe or not. Only that you live your life and follow your heart and know that things are as they should be. Always has been and always will be. We just must do our best to be what we are and excel in our lives. The way in which we except and take on the challenges in our lives determine the levels of experiences in which we are allowed to achieve. We exist within infinity, yet infinity exists within us, we can look into our self and see the infinite experience the infinite in all its aspects through our thoughts and imagination we can be an infinity within the grand infinity we are all capable of full control over our macro-infinity while still existing within the uni-finity (the totality of all) Our inner space is as infinite as the reality in which we exist in. The inner space reality given enough detail and compatibility with the preset rules of our existence can be brought from our inner space into our existence, this is the creative process. Making our dreams and creations materialize within our physical lives from mental images. We are only limited by our selves. Our understanding of our inner space and our understanding of our physical world. The more we know about both the more we can transfer from inner to physical. We can make our lives the things that we dream in the most real manner but only if we balance our

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understanding of our world in which we live, and the world in our minds.

5 March 2006:

With the advance of technology we may be making our development too complicated we now know the roots and we can now begin to actively form our grown as a species with out being blind as to how to go about expanding our experience of the reality in which we live. We are just seeing that the answers to our most puzzling mysteries of science are right beneath our noses and we just have to stop and focus.

Only a religion which the person finds no contradictions, allows for its followers to question everything about that religion and expect a rational answer, and deity cannot be questioned or denied anyway and does not require blind faith to acknowledge can be considered a true religion any holes in this causes the religion to be nothing more than a farce. Understand that this writing is not a religion it is a thought processes, which can lead to an understanding of a possible religion as defined above.

This being the case one must still respect the beliefs of others weather or not you feel that it is true or not. It is not our place to "convert" only to enlighten those who come to us and to take in their points of view into our collection of understanding. To keep balanced on the positive is a requirement for sanity as that the negative is a constant as well and must be respected but not dwelt within as it can only bring destruction and chaos into our lives. Allowing the negative to rule our lives will bring us into conflict with reality and dive into madness. Working with the concepts in this book brings the risk of imbalance caution must be taken to keep a balance in your mind and to keep ones bearing at all times.

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What is the purpose of all of this? To allow a peace to come into our lives and overcome the traumas, stresses, and trials of life. We can learn to put every event in our lives into a enlightened perspective we can learn to fight off the depression and sadness that the tough times in life which we all experience, and we can bring calm to our busy stressful lives. We can use our enlightened perspective of life better our lives and the lives of those around us.

We all seek happiness within our lives and ways to cope with or remove the stress and strains brought on by events in our lives. By bringing a better fuller understanding of the reality in which we live and the forces at play within it we allow ourselves a view which can allow this to come with time and acceptance. The realization of the expanse and totality of our existence can be quite daunting and overwhelming at times but with persistence one can come to use this to bring light and happiness into their lives.

At times in our lives we can "feel" a change in the events around us we can sense something different happening within our world many of us use this intuition to prepare for the pending change others ignore the feelings and continue on their current path. Some say they may feel an approaching doom or a sense of panic from a possible unknown source. We must learn to listen to our feelings on the deepest possible level. We need to broaden our horizons and learn not to limit our experience of the infinite reality in which we live.

The uneducated or poorly educated masses control the flow of the world shoving the minority highly educated into difficult and in many times ignorant and unnecessary situations. The education of the world's masses is a must, and to fight misinformation and poor education we must insure factual education not myths and guesses but insure to teach the

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world the hard facts in a way, which is easily taken in and accepted into the individual's life. A world education forum must be accepted and used to bring world education to not just acceptable levels but the highest possible levels. Ignorance is the cause of the world's problems and high quality education the cure. We as a world must respond appropriately to this global need.

It can be sad to look upon the news the events being shown, the media commenter focusing the news at a education level of approximately five years old. This is a sad state when world news is focused at people with a mentality of a five year old.

Finding the strength to cope with anything that life puts in front of you is only the first step in keeping a balanced life; the second thing is to find a fulfilling purpose to fill your life with. Finding your life purpose is one thing that many people have difficulty with. We must look deep within to see the tiny things in our lives that make us happy and drive us on. Once we find the strongest of these drives we must evaluate how that desire can be made to provide sustenance to sustain our lives.

(The paragraph on cultures/traditions vs. education/knowledge did not save, rewrite if possible) Society has many traditions over the face of the globe. These traditions hold us close to our roots. We determine who we are based on the collection of these traditions. There are however aspects of tradition which when educated properly one become enlightened upon aspects of some traditions which are negative, brutal, or just wrong under the light of morality (not causing harm to any and treating others as we would like to be treated, or to treat those we care for

in a respectful manner, pets included.) We must not cause undue harm to anything. The abuse of animals, which are pets or food sources. We must understand that these may

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be traditional things however abuse of anything should be ended traditional or not.

Some during their lives comes to question the reality in which they live. Others drudge along in their everyday life with no aspiration to expand their experience of life beyond what they are use to. The understanding of infinity plus physics and quantum physics give a deep insight into the true nature of reality in fully understanding these we may be able to find a purpose to give fulfillment to our existence.

This ends the first draft of this work. All other additions and changes ETC will be in a revision system. 4 May 2006 20 May 2006-

Ignorance breeds hate, mankind does not like to be wrong and will fight for those things, which they hold true, even if those things can be proved to be false, incomplete, or just misunderstood. Mankind must at all cost fight ignorance to end the hate and rage that it breeds. Many wars have been fought in ignorance's name and many more are still to be fought. We must persist to instill knowledge and wisdom over the ages one generation at a time, one culture at a

time, slowly yet steadily building upon and adding to generation to generation. Over time if all holds one day the ignorance will be a very small minority of mankind, which may never fully vanish but will allow for the world to be calm and at peace. The world is full of infinite possibilities and even though some may seem impossible at times given persistence the impossible become improbable and then into the realm of possibilities. Everyone's quest is a personal

one, we must realize that just dropping knowledge in their lap does not make sure that the knowledge will be absorbed and appreciated. We must learn to saver each lesson learned in life and to take every opportunity to learn new.

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The solitary nature of the journey we all walk alone, we from time to time will find others who may be teacher or student but only on very rare occasions will we find a peer for us to be equal with and able to fully express ourselves in our deepest most complicated thoughts. Most of the time we must keep these to our selves as that the majority of the world would not be able to understand as if looking at a tapestry one thread at a time they would riot see the whole picture. We come to long for and cherish those times when we cross paths with fellow enlightened souls wondering along their paths. The hard part is not to become down hearted during those times of intellectual solitary. We still have our every day lives to bring us comfort and companionship we must allow the mundane to comfort us during those times.

Feelings and thoughts come and go throughout our lives. Some we manage to remember others make their impact and are lost to us forever unless we can manage to document them. Like the memories of our childhood we can remember events from time to time few of us are blessed or cursed depending on your point of view, and are able to remember everything. Things that are obvious to some may be totally foreign to others. So when one thinks that they are stating the obvious it may be a revolutionary thought to some and obvious to others.

A mystery to me is why is it that there is such a separator between reality and imagination? We can imagine things that no one else can ever begin to understand. Why is it so difficult to bring the imagined into reality? I guess it would be impractical to have all the oddities of the imagination popping into a shared reality but some things that would not disrupt the stability of our shared reality should not be so difficult to do. It is the shared reality, which

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I find so mundane and feel trapped in that mundane separation between reality and the imagination.

God is infinite and God is Infinity. The world would change drastically should we learn this and understand truly what the statement means. The world is not made of just negative neutral and positive, it has infinite degrees of these. The difficulty comes in balancing the spiritual life with the physical life. When one focuses fully on the spiritual the physical life suffers and when one focuses on the physical then the spiritual life suffers, we must learn how to focus . equally on both the physical life and the spiritual life and to bring them into an equally expanding balance. When one focuses so much on the spiritual we can bring detriment to our material life, relationships can suffer and our social integration can become nonexistent, we may even find it hard to relate to others because our spiritual development is not balanced with our development within the material world. We can find it difficult to understand the actions of others and find our self distant and detached from those we love because we can no longer fully understand the complexities of relationships with others we may even find others thoughts and reactions and illogical and with no basis because we no longer have a point of reference which relates to theirs. We have detached ourselves from the emotional needs of others. We may still hold our strong intentions to do what is right in social and relationship situations but this detachment makes us blind to the needs and desires of others. No matter if we love them we cannot seem to make the correlation to be able to keep our relationships complete. We can easily become a socially inept. We cannot see the things which those we care for are upset by and can easily and blindly cause heartache to those we love fully unintentionally. We must hold tight to

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those close to us and search for a way to bring balance back into our lives. To bring the human factor back into our lives we must learn of others real life experiences and expand our own understanding of our own lives.

Within the totality of the infinite there is nothing, which is unimportant or irrelevant. All things are interrelated and integral to everything else. Everything is important, all thoughts, actions, events, everything. This is because these things are all part of the infinite. Everything, everyone has a purpose and a reason for being.

Happiness is first of all an internal thing; to be able to truly be happy one must first be truly happy within their self. This happiness has to do fully with your own perception of yourself void of any external influences. Once one is happy within their self then one can take that happiness to the external world and bring happiness to others and to allow others to bring more happiness into your existence. We must understand that without sadness in our lives we would not fully appreciate being happy. All things must balance.

The grass is always greener, until you actually take the chance to go to that grass, we realize that we should truly hold tight to what we have. So many times people have to learn this. Over and over we delve into the unknown letting go of those things which we have come comfortable with for the chance of something better. On rare occasions it may play out well but with experience we learn that these times are very rare indeed. Some people never learn to appreciate what they have until they no longer have it, then they are left struggling trying to reacquire those things, which we gave up. The problem comes with the issue that we feel as if we must take the risk. We see this over and over. We have to know for ourselves it's hard to over come this need to know what if. Even, if it leads to regrets in the future. Only time and experience can teach this no matter how many others

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say it most have to learn it on their own. This is a very personal decision and should not be taken lightly.

I see what I have now, and I know that what I have is now the best that I have ever had in my life and the odds are that I would loose everything I have should I give up on what I have to seek something more. My life is the most complete it has ever been it is challenging but so rewarding. To be forced to give up this would be madness. The actions of others upon the stability of your life can be a deeply stressful force. To learn to cope with these events or to avoid them all together can make one's life much more comfortable.

Still looking for a system to group your self with? One must look within their self and find something that suits them without outside pressures, something that calls to them deeply which can withstand questioning and rational thinking. Religions have done their share of good and bad for the world and have been used as an excuse for atrocities. We must see into the root of each religion to see its true form before mankind put its footprint on the original ideals of the religion. Over time mankind on many religions have put in changes that give power over others and to try to make one group better than another. Greed and ignorance corrupted the original ideals of the religions. We must look to the root before the ideals were corrupted. Even today the world is still trying to use religion as a way to extort others. We must look beyond this. Newly formed or reorganized Wicca groups seem to have taken many traditions from many sources world wide filtering out the negative due to their belief in the principle of karma. The peaceful nature of this allows for an enlightened and very flexible religious system. Personally I could find myself more following a monotheistic Wicca in which the lower deity's are simply aspects of the one and only deity. Other than that everything

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else could remain the same. Absorb the positive and reject the negative any aspect, which causes any form of harm to anyone then those things, must be rejected as impure. By bringing more positive into one's life then we can balance the natural tendency toward chaos. So now comes an idea of a Monotheistic Kabbalistic Wiccan system,

Monokabbalan. This system takes those aspects of the systems, which applies and joins them into one coherent system. By forming such a group we give an avenue to those which find need to be part of a community of likeminded individuals while remaining individuals. The system is flexible yet sets down guidelines for moral behavior and personal relations. Any group which claims to be true yet can hold hatred for anyone else in anyway in my mind is invalid and corrupt, the root of their system may hold truth but these groups have been corrupted over time by man's faults. Maintaining the purity of the original ideologies is something which must be considered utmost priority in order to sustain a peaceful religious system. Understanding that everything has its place even if this nags at our sensibility we must understand the balance. We never will recruit but welcome with open arms all those who which to join the group. Or leave the group. Like stated at the beginning of this book this is not a cult in anyway just a collection of thoughts which may help people in their daily lives. In writing this I hope I can better the world in some little way if possible, to help to bring happiness into another's life, and to help the world take a step towards peace. We have infinite potential and if only we could set aside the hate, closed mindedness, and greed can we begin a new world for all of us and our future generations.

There is a God, that God is infinite. Time is only a measurement of change in which we can understand the reality in which we live. Everything is possible.

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In closing, this book can never truly be finished as that is the nature of infinity. As God is more than Infinite, it is the paradox of paradoxes. However, because of the nature of life the written must now come to an end. May light, love and happiness reach deep into your lives and may this spread to all of those around you.

9 August 2006

I had thought that to have been the end of my writing, but now I find myself needing to continue. It is now December 22, 2006. I find myself working harder at learning Hebrew and all things Jewish. To work its aspects slowly into my life its history and traditions. The never ending desire for knowledge through study. I will find my own path within it while attending to the reality of my every day life. I cannot let my desire to become what I am to become stress my relationships and life within the outside world. This is not easy nor is it expected to be. I will find my own personal way of being both of my realities the reality of the world and that of my soul, I will work the two together as I can trying not to cause upheaval within either. I continue my studies as the call feels louder and louder as the days go by. I hope that one day I find a teacher who I can challenge and who challenges my thoughts but for now. I use my books to challenge my thoughts and in the meantime they show even more strongly how definite the truth in the Infinite is. It is the silence within the silence it is the silent thought. It's the truth.

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The more I learn the more it reinforces this. I cannot deign the truth of the divine as one cannot deign their own existence. I can see how working within the Torah one can eventually come to this understanding following the Mitzvah and the traditions one can come to know these things and to know a since of family and community. The Jewish community is a very close knit family, various Jewish groups deal with the levels of adherence to the Mitzvah and traditions to different levels. One may know what level is required but follow another. To question is an integral part of being Jewish. Even the great Rabbi's question and

challenge hierarchy. Personally I weigh all things against my personal view of morality. I reject all things related to hate, anger and destruction, yet I believe in defense not being an offensive power but to be defensive but not pacifist. Love all and defend against those who do not. Protect all those who need protecting. I fully understand the reasons behind all

613 laws yet I too see how they are designed to protect and guide young minds through their development. In the sprit of questioning, in all the Infinite grace of the divine is it not possible that there are infinite other ways to be led to the same through different means? Or is tradition set in stone? say this in relationship with my status as a non-Jew who knows himself to be a Jewish soul in the living of his life finds this to be true yet still holding strong to his responsibilities and relationships of his non-Jewish life and trying to work into as much of being Jewish as possible into my life with out drawing negative attention to such. I find that many of those around do not understand where I am coming from in my beliefs this makes my path a lonely one but at the same time it is very rewarding. My voice to the outside is this writing,

not chatting with like minded friends as I have none. The calling I have is stronger than almost anything I know and to not act just brings sadness and depression so I must

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continue to study and to write and to strive to be what I know I am at heart. I only hope that all of this rambling writing I have done over the last few years will be of use to someone someday. Meanwhile I will continue to write this as things pop to mind to put down. Some times this may be related other times not but nevertheless the end will be the same. I can only one day hope to be excepted for what I am and my beliefs in a world which has so much pain in relation to religion it is time for this to end and for something good to come from it all. Sefer Hamitzvot ("Book of Commandments") is a work by the 12th century rabbi, philosopher and physician Maimonides. This is the current excepted list of Jewish 613 Laws. I personaly question why the laws come from a 12th century Rabbi's work. Why is this the law not the Torah itself? Is it because to use the Torah itself would make the system too fluid? Or are there actualy Jews out there that are truly Jewish but not of the 613 Law Jews? The traditional Orthadoxy follow the 613 laws if they are to be Orthadox why is this the case? Is this a translation of the Mishnah from the oral Law passed down? If so this would make more sense. But even so why was it not written when the tradition was to write? Is there legimitacy to the Karaite, the Jewish who only follow the Tanakah? I see the essence to hold true no mater what way a group gets there but this seperation in groups cause major arguments and can even cause wars.

When we strive to fulfill the highest ethical mandates in our relationships with others and with all of God's creation. Partners with God in (tikkun olam), repairing the world, we are called to help bring nearer the messianic age. We seek dialogue and joint action with people of other faiths in the hope that together we can bring peace, freedom and justice to our world. We are obligated to pursue (tzedek), justice and righteousness, and to narrow the gap between the

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affluent and the poor, to act against discrimination and oppression, to pursue peace, to welcome the stranger, to protect the earth's biodiversity and natural resources, and to redeem those in physical, economic and spiritual bondage. In so doing, we reaffirm social action and social justice as a central prophetic focus of traditional Reform Jewish belief and practice. We affirm the (mitzvah) of (tzedakah), setting aside portions of our earnings and our time to provide for those in need. These acts bring us closer to fulfilling the prophetic call to translate the words of Torah into the works of our hands.

I have come to choose my hebrew name: David ben David v'Bathsheba (David pronounced Dah-veed) I chose these because of my relationship with my faith in how it seems to parallel the interfaith situation of David and Bathsheba and my love of their story.

A Call to All Rejected Jews

For Many years I have searched for my spiritual home, for a religion which calls to my soul as true for me. After many years searching and questioning I have come to fine myself in an odd situation. I believe myself my nafsh'hah (soul) to

be Jewish due to how my beliefs fit and the faith and history calls out to me. Because of this I sought to convert and become officially Jewish. Rejection only followed because of the life I have. My partner she is not interested in religious things or converting which is the primary reason for my rejection. The inability to convert has not stopped my faith, It has only driven me to try to work as many Jewish things into my everyday life and try to make it all fit together the best I can. I may be alone which is frowned upon as well but I continue nevertheless in my study of Torah, Hebrew, and of Jewish history and traditions. I am writing this reaching out to

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all those who are like me and those who are Jewish but who also have been rejected due to their life situation. To form a group of Rejected Jews to share our stories and provide light to all of us who need to feel part of the Jewish Family yet cannot officially do so. I don't know what form this will take as that I have little time to update and maintain a website for this but I will do what I can. I want to make sure others like me and so on know they are not alone and that we together can form our own family of Rejected Jews. Trying to follow what of the 613 Mitzvah we can in our given situations. I know this may be a sore subject but I feel that there may just be enough of us out there to make a difference. If we can only find a way to pull together and become organized in a positive and loving way avoiding any corruption or negative influence of those who believe we do not belong. We must remain open-minded to those who feel the call yet cannot find acceptance within the mainstream Jewish groups. My personal goal is to one day being fully excepted as Jewish

by the mainstream community. Until that day my faith and devotion to the practice and study will not waver. I call to all like myself to group together to allow our voices to be heard. The love of my faith swells like a flood behind a dam, the desire to not just know every aspect of my faith but to live my faith as well drives me ever day to learn and work to make the knowledge useable and practical in modern life.

David 0 Stanton armisis@gmail.com

(8 February 2007)

Within the development of our lives, we must strive to better the world for those who follow, to give something back, our lives are short and unless we do something positive to pass to our children we waist our lives with trivial

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and materialistic things which gives no heritage or gain to better the lives of those who follow us. We must strive to better ourselves and those around us. The lives we lead can so easily be waisted opertunitys to leave behind a legasy of growth and hope to those will follow should be of utmost importance, if only a small percentage in each generation was to do this increasing generation to generation we would find that society has the potential to quickly reach a true golden age of knowledge, peace and love. We are here and alive now for a purpose, We must assume this purpose is to live the best possible lives we can while enabling those generations after us to do the same or hopefully better. We must strive to reach an era of peace and enlightenment, we must feed those starving for knowledge with the knowledge which is logical void of all greed or power mongering. Becoming a logical rational race we humans must never let go or try to banish our emotions but learn how to use them and experience them as signs and guides in the progress of our lives. Through logic we do not separate ourselves from

or deign the creator the source of all, the everything which we are part of but we become more intimate with the divine by learning more about the divine. We have in the past made the mistake in separating the divine and science, in separating the divine and evolution. To separate the divine from anything is a mistake, which only leads to chaos and difficulty. We must learn to accept the divine in all existence. With this we then can begin to explore our role as a portion of the infinite divine. Within this one must become of a higher place in existence than just the human animal, we must raise the divine within to allow us to raise the divine of all that we do, say, and influence. We need to learn to stop harming ourselves, each other, and the environment in which we live. Everyone is an equal part of the divine no mater what path

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their life has taken. We must do our best to be a positive influence on everyone and everything.

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At times in ones live we may see times of happy stability, or deep sadness, the nature of infinity and the thought that this too shall pass is a blessing and a curse. For when things are great and good, this too shall pass, but when things are bad in our lives, this too shall pass. Our only stability is in the knowing that this too shall pass. We must not allow our selves to be to hurt when the good passes. Our linear perspective causes this to effect us deeply we must learn to focus our perspective beyond the linear to the infinite, for within the infinite we will be faced with something which includes all those things at once and does not. We must grasp tight to our true place in the universe and continue to try our best in all we do.

At times in our life's we will encounter situations, which push us to the brink of snapping. We may from time to time be able to withhold this volcanic eruption and but it from time to time is bound to escape and wreak havoc with no logic and with no time to contemplate any consequences until after the rage has passed, which of course is too late. All of us have this capability, we all just have various levels of restraint and various things which can build up to set us off. Life can pressure us so deeply that when these other things build up, it can increase the level of rage with no relation to the trigger event.

I reach to the outside world to grasp for guidance in my development, I cannot and will not be dissuaded in my growth. There is always a way my persistence is absolute, I only want to do with as little upheaval as possible to those close to me. I can only hope to find a teacher who will be

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willing to take this on, it is not an easy thing I ask. But I hope to learn much and maybe even challenge my teacher as well. This writing will continue through my progress with or without a teacher.

The stronger I study and fight for knowledge and understanding of the faith of which I am. I find purpose and stability in the ancient links taught to the Ain Sofit. The Shema which shows this unity is what shows my link and draws me deep into the study. I will learn and work to practice those traditions in which I can work into the secular society and life in which I was born into. I will become my own unique breed of Jew until one day I may find others who are in the same situation, which I am in no doubt there are others like myself out there. I believe it would be wise to more publicly show through our deeds and our openness to allow those who feel the call to come home more easily then in the decades past. There will always be those who disagree and I hope there is. It brings balance to the world.

27 March 2007

The day began with the thought to form a thought flow which using logic possibly even a logic chart to show the fact of God's existence and the proof that this thinking is the same that Judaism has always taught but is easily lost in translation. This is a very difficult topic to try to teach in a concise understandable way. My goal in this is to easily teach the previously esoteric hard to comprehend religious ideas to anyone in a way which makes sense. So what I first need to reiterate is the idea of Infinity and the Jewish Idea of Ain Sofit this is the only truth just one thing which contains all variables this is God. Now once we have that we can see that god is all around us and US as well. We must realize the necessity for and the inclusion of science and utilization of it as well in our process of discovery. The reassurance that we are all belong either Noahide or Jew the teachers/preachers

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and the students. I believe that if properly educated non-bias then one can come to see the truth of reality with out being postulated to. The days of the ignorant closed-minded stubborn people are marked and with the availabity of information changes are bound to be underway.

31 March 2007

The divine talks to us all, every moment of every day, we listen and respond with usually no actual acknowledgment of the interaction. The divine is the inner voice, which attempts to guide our way on a moral, righteous path. We have the free will to listen and act or not. This is the gift of free will. At times we find those who are brave enough to voice the lessons of that inner voice, for the benefit of others. There are also times when the inner voice becomes so garbled with inner torment that one can become mentally unstable and possibly a hazard to themselves or others. To commune with the divine we must purify our selves to fully enjoy the splendor of the divine light without being blinded by its brilliance. We must keep our protective curtain in good order as to not allow the brilliance to destroy

us.

8th April 2007

I have been in deep study on conversion to Judaism. I have learnt much in my studies and of a deep concern is the religions deep problem with feuding bureaucracy over the "Who is a Jew" dilemma and preserving the Jewish people and traditions. I wonder if they are not spending so much time worrying about this and not enough time fortifying the religion for those who are already Jewish and welcoming those who truly desire to belong to the Jewish family. I believe all these issues could be dealt with in a positive way, which makes the Jewish religion more welcoming, and allow for a slowdown or end to the erosion of the community. If

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people who wish to convert and are understanding of what they are asking still wish to convert they should be welcomed with open arms, if they have a partner who has no interest still allow them to join, just make sure it is so welcoming that the partner will feel welcomed as well. The point is never to exclude anyone from the community and allow all interested to learn and feel excepted. I firmly feel that if the truth of Judaism was brought to light that there would be a massive influx of converts to the religion. I myself find that the deeper I work what traditions I can into my secular life I find the desire to go deeper becomes stronger and stronger. The lack of a community which may except me seems to be a major difficulty which I am unsure how to rectify and am scared of the possible rejection of one like me by those who do not know me truly. I will continue my growth and my self assimilation into being Jewish in all ways possible one step at a time the draw to know more and practice is the strongest spiritual pull I have ever known.

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Ok, I have completed scanning in the old journal and posting all 83 pages. From this point on the entries will be posted as I have something to say, this will be very random.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Willingly I accept. In my opinion, it is an interesting question, I will take part in discussion.

Anonymous said...

Nice

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

despu├ęs de Niza. Gracias

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